Tennis Improvement Memo 065. This is why prestigious academies are strong!

▶ The reaction in that moment is the fork in the road of destiny

To achieve results in rally practice, a certain level of mutual cooperation between you and your partner is necessary as a prerequisite to keep the ball going.

Even if the immediate goal in a match is to end the rally (to close out the point), there are times when you need to build the rally to get there.

Now, in such rally practice, if one person is feeding the ball and the other hits it into the net on the first shot or hits a home run out the back, it doesn't become practice.

At this moment, your instantaneous reactions to each other are put to the test.

The player who missed the first shot says, “The feed was bad,” and the player feeding the ball says, “It’s your fault for not hitting it back properly,” and once the “blame mode” switch is flipped, there will be no “cooperation” at all.

This does not make for good rally practice.

You might want to push the cause of the error onto your opponent so you don't get hurt, but with that attitude, both productivity and self-esteem will drop.

By venting the energy of mutual frustration, the energy needed to focus on the ball is diminished, making it even less likely that you will be able to practice continuing the rally.

▶ That “sorry” is meaningless

However, feeling guilty and saying “it was my fault” is also not the right approach.

As I always say, apologizing with “sorry” or “my bad” just because you made a mistake—that “humility?” “modesty?” or “trying to be a good person?”—is “completely meaningless” in tennis.

Not only is it meaningless, but by putting yourself down, you damage your tennis self-esteem.

Tennis players tend to say it easily, though...

Also, as a psychological aspect of apologizing with “sorry,” it could be pointed out that the disrespectful notion that “the opponent is a small-minded person with low tolerance for getting angry over something like this” is also lurking in the depths.

▶ From “blame mode” to “acceptance mode”

There is an approach that is useful at times like this.

It is a mode shift from “blame mode” to “acceptance mode,” based on the idea that “my practice partner is also doing their best” and “they aren't missing on purpose to make things difficult for me.”

Along with that comes the affirmation of yourself and others: “I am a tennis player too, so we are in this together.”

Don't you tend to make an instantaneous “evaluation” that “the opponent is bad” or “I am no good”?

Or perhaps you tend to “judge” by saying “the opponent is wrong!” or “I am more correct!”?

The nature of this instantaneous reaction is the “fork in the road of destiny.”.

As I will mention later, this is not limited to tennis; it is something that can be said in common for everyone in a group, whether it be at a company, with family, between lovers, or in follower relationships.

When you let go of this judgment, a paradigm shift occurs.

“The path of happiness” can be walked from that moment on.

Conversely, if you make an “evaluation,” from that moment on, whether in tennis, at a company, with family, between lovers, or in follower relationships, you head toward the “path of ruin.”

▶ There is no “special practice” at prestigious academies

From “blame mode” to “acceptance mode.”

If you place yourself in such an environment, your tennis will improve in no time.
Because your concentration won't be wasted.
Prestigious academies and famous clubs are not doing

“special practice.” They aren't teaching

“secret techniques passed down from master to student” there (it's not Hokuto Shinken?).
The players who respect each other, and the “group (environment)” where they gather, are what push the level up.

▶ It's okay not to understand each other

A point to be careful of here is that “there is no need to understand each other.”
We tend to condition ourselves to think that we can only respect each other if we understand each other.

But it is
“impossible” to truly understand one another.
The other person's mood, your own physical condition, and everything else are, in short, impermanent.

They might be in a bad mood because they had an argument with their partner this morning, or because the stock prices they hold have fallen, or because their stomach is upset, or because they stepped in dog poop...

Anyway, there are all sorts of circumstances and reasons, but
the unconditional acceptance that “this person is sincere, so something must have happened” is the “path of happiness.” Conversely, if you force the impossible condition that “we should be able to understand each other!”, because it is “impossible,” you may end up unable to respect each other and instead fall into a relationship of “blaming each other.”

▶ The feeling that “it’s okay to say anything!”

This is not limited to tennis; it is true for any group.

Whether it is a company, a family, a couple, or a follow-follower relationship, “They are saying something strange, but well, knowing them, there must be some reason for it” as long as that feeling exists within the group, whether it is a company, a family, a couple, or a follow-follower relationship, it becomes a place where everyone can increase their self-esteem.

In such a relationship, “psychological safety” is maintained, where you feel it is okay to say anything, so both productivity and self-esteem increase.

So, (?), even if I post something silly on social media, please overlook it, thinking, “There must be some reason for it” (laughs).

I hope to be that way as well.

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