Tennis Improvement Memo 447: A concrete introduction to 'Living by the Method of Elimination'!

▶ Changing your life with a 'Not-To-Do List'

This is a follow-up to the email response from the day before yesterday. I believe that living by the method of elimination is similar to a

'Not-To-Do List'. Generally, many people keep a To-Do list in their lives.

That works fine as a reminder if you manage it by priority and importance.

On the other hand, a 'Not-To-Do List' literally

defines what you will not do. In other words, it is the 'method of elimination' I brought up in my email response.

▶ A 'Not-Doing Life' that increases the quality and quantity of concentration

When you define what you will not do, your time increases significantly.

Also, since you are not overloaded with information, your mind and body can rest and find peace.
TV news, internet topics, gourmet reports, and the furrowed brows of your seniors—everything we receive through our five senses is
'information'.
And every time we encounter information, thoughts are born and emotions are stirred, so we become mentally and physically exhausted without even realizing it, and our time is snatched away as it is spent processing that information.

That is where selection and concentration come in.


Once you define what you will not do, the quality of your concentration toward the carefully selected 'things to do' improves.
Along with that, as I mentioned earlier, defining what you will not do increases your time significantly, and you can spend that extra
quantity of concentration on the 'things to do'.

▶ How to concentrate on the ball

In tennis, you don't think about your form, you don't think several moves ahead, and you don't look at your opponent (if you look at the ball, the opponent will be drawn in), so by 'not doing' these things, you become able to concentrate on the ball more strongly and for longer.

Conversely, your form, thinking several moves ahead, and your opponent are all information that enters through your five senses.

Because you 'do' the processing of that information, you become unable to concentrate on the ball.

▶ 'Not doing' to concentrate on the present

Looking back, we tend to waste the concentration and time we should be directing toward the present by 'doing' things that don't really need to be done—like surfing the net, shopping, gossiping, or drawing legs on a completed snake—beyond the point of taking a break or refreshing ourselves.

In other words, a 'Not-To-Do List' is similar to the Turkish proverb 'Do not do today what you can do tomorrow.'

Does this sound like mere procrastination and seem 'lazy'?

No, it is not!

As we confirmed with selection and concentration, it is better to do tomorrow what can be done tomorrow, so that you can concentrate now on 'what can only be done now'.

In Japan, people are mocked for saying 'I'll do it tomorrow,' but because people try to do today what can be done tomorrow, their priorities and sense of importance become blurred and unstable.

▶ Buddhism is the pioneer of the 'Not-To-Do List'

Coincidentally, the Five Precepts taught in Buddhism are all 'Do not do X,' rather than 'Do X.'

Loosely translated, they are:
1. Do not lie
2. Do not steal
3. Do not kill
4. Do not commit adultery
5. Do not become addicted

And each one teaches that by 'not doing' these things, you can 'avoid suffering'.

To think that Buddhism was the pioneer of the 'Not-To-Do List.'

Calling it 'doing' not-doing is just wordplay, but it is a practice to 'avoid suffering' that you can basically do for free without spending money if you want to.

▶ Scheduling 'no schedule'

Speaking of wordplay, I routinely schedule 'no schedule'.

This also reinforces the 'Not-To-Do List'.

I put 'Not doing' in my Google Calendar, and I don't schedule any work or errands for that date and time.

If someone tries to ask me for work or an errand, if I say 'I have plans,' it is true because a 'not-doing plan' is incorporated, so it is not a lie, and I can avoid breaking the Five Precepts.

▶ The 'basis' of self-affirmation

Valuing yourself and prioritizing your own convenience, mood, and physical condition is the basis of self-affirmation.

You can avoid being swayed by reading other people's faces.

However, isn't it something we tend to do anyway?

The lie we tell as a reason to decline an invitation: 'I have work'.

Why does 'work' become such a universal excuse in Japan?

I hear that in the West, even if you are asked to work overtime, a reason for declining like 'It's my wife's birthday party tonight' is accepted.

▶ A 'way of declining' that increases self-affirmation

Setting that aside, behind the psychology of lying and saying 'I have work,' there seems to be a disrespect that underestimates the other person's tolerance, assuming that if you decline without a reason, they will surely be offended.

Therefore, a sincere (straightforward/honest) way to decline an invitation when you actually have no work, which also increases self-affirmation, would be something like, 'I appreciate you inviting me, but I'm not in the mood this time,
so let's do it another time.'
If you feel this is 'selfish',
it is likely suspected that your self-affirmation is still low for now.

▶ It's better to show your true self for a better impression

Saying 'I'm not in the mood' is an attitude that shows respect in the sense that you

leave it to the other party to decide how to take that, and since it doesn't cross the line into violating personal boundaries by trying to change them, it can be said that you are building an interactive, affirmative relationship where you both elevate each other.
I believe that going along with an invitation when you don't want to, just because you were asked, is the
most disrespectful attitude toward yourself and others possible.
That is a formal (superficial) interaction, and it cannot be self-affirming or other-affirming (essential).

I think the person who was turned down would also appreciate an
honest (straightforward and authentic) attitude rather than a transparent lie like 'I have work to do,' don't you agree?

▶ Can't you turn down work because you're 'not in the mood'?

Of course, if it's hard to say you're 'not in the mood' when declining a work request, it should be enough to change how you phrase it, for example, by saying, 'I'm feeling down because I'm still dwelling on a previous failure.'

We are human, not machines, so we have our ups and downs; if you want to accept but find it difficult to do so right now, being down is the honest truth.

▶ 'Purpose in life' is a gift from self-affirmation

If your self-affirmation recovers through such efforts, it is a fact that even if the world doesn't change at all, if your perception of yourself changes, the world will change completely.

As mentioned here, talents that were closed off due to self-denial will bloom, and doing the work you once avoided will no longer be a duty, but will become a purpose in life and be enjoyable.

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