Listen to the voices of children, and let us return there again and again.

On my birthday night, I received letters from my wife and sons.

My eldest son's letter began with the words, 'Thank you for raising me with love for 21 years. I am now becoming a working adult.'

Receiving the words written densely on the stationery, I felt happy, bittersweet, and tears overflowed and would not stop.

Countless memories with my children came to mind.

I also have ADHD traits, and I have struggled particularly hard with how to handle my emotions.

Both toward myself and toward my family.

But, as much as possible, I did not want to

have a negative impact on my children.

My sons, too, were living their lives to the fullest while carrying traits like ADHD and HSP.

Today, I would like to talk about what I have valued most in raising my children.

In a word, it is dialogue.

In that daily, repeated dialogue,

there are three things I have kept in mind regarding my children.

Listen closely to the voice of their hearts.

Ask questions, and do not talk over them.

Keep focusing on the light in their hearts.

If you have sensed a delicate sensitivity in your precious children,

no, I believe the state of many children's hearts is surely very delicate and sometimes fragile.

Children are receiving a vast amount of stimulation from the outside world

to the point where they do not know how to stop.

That is precisely why

everything begins with listening

to the voice of that child's heart.

It is very small,

and at times, it can only be heard faintly.

Even so, gently draw close to their heart and listen.

"What's wrong?"

"Did something happen?"

"How are you feeling right now?"

If they are in adolescence, they will often say nothing at all.

But even then, do not rush; try to listen closely.

To a question like, "Is this what you mean?"

they may sometimes give a small, quiet nod.

What is important there is not to impose your own theories.

Patience is required here.

In this, your past experience often has the opposite effect.

Keep it to something like, "Mom or Dad thinks this way."

And even if that child is currently truant,

or is facing some kind of challenge,

fundamentally, that isperhaps a challenge, but

Never, it is not a problem—keep that in your heart.

When you think of it as a problem, you look for what is missing.

You focus on the problem, and there are more remarks about fixing it or curing it.

In other words, this is constantlysending the message that "you are incomplete," and the child's self-esteem will drop even further.

Therefore, the premise isno matter how they are now, they are okay just as they are.

With the fundamental premise that they are perfect just as they are,

the sparkles of the child's heart, their joy, or

things like their subtle light,

let's focus all our attention on them.

By continuing to speak to the light in the child's heart,

saying things like "that's good," "that's right," and "it's okay,"

that light will gently expand.

However, parents cannot be perfect.

There are times when you feel down, thinking, "I messed up."

But return there again.

Again and again, focus on that faint light.

Eventually,

you will surely notice changes in the children's expressions, their gestures, and their words.

Draw close to them, listen intently, and do not interrupt,

and continue to focus on the light.

That is the only thing I have kept in mind while communicating with my sons.

That was all I could do.

But, seeing my sons' letters, I felt that it was enough.

Give your heart, listen closely, and do not interrupt

Keep focusing on the light.

It was never easy.

But

even if it is difficult for anyone

it is surely the only thing a parent can do for their child

which is to "believe."