Even if my words are clumsy, I want to convey my feelings, and I want to be the kind of person others want to convey their feelings to

Hello, this is Harano.
Just as flowers inevitably wither once they bloom, people also inevitably experience parting when they meet.
I also said goodbye to someone important to me the other day, on a clear day with a wide blue sky.

I decided to keep the memories of that person tucked away carefully in my heart.
This time, while interweaving my own story with a plant called the "Ohga Lotus" that bloomed after crossing two thousand years of time, I think I will talk about what I thought about encounters and partings.

Before we get into the story of the Ohga Lotus, let's check the basic information about the lotus.

As in the quote above, the lotus Nelumbo nucifera is a plant that roots in water and blooms from late June to early September. The lifespan of a single flower is four days. It is a plant that blooms in the morning.
There are two types of lotus: the lotus with pink or white petals (scientific name Nelumbo nucifera) and the American lotus with pale yellow petals (scientific name Nelumbo lutea), and the one that can be observed in Japan is the pink lotus, N. nucifera. The lotus N. nucifera is distributed in East, South, and Southeast Asia and Northern Australia, while the American lotus N. lutea is distributed in North America. Is it because I am Japanese that I feel uncomfortable with yellow lotuses when I am used to white or pink ones??

Nelumbo lutea - Wikipedia

By the way, the lotus is often confused with the water lily, which also roots in water, but the lotus and the water lily are different plants. If you want to eat lotus root, let's grow a lotus.

As a way to distinguish between a lotus and a water lily, I often hear the story that "if it extends its stem above the water surface to bloom, it's a lotus, and if it blooms on the water surface, it's a water lily," but that understanding is a bit dangerous.

This is a photo of tropical water lilies, which are relatives of the water lily.
They are beautifully extending their stems above the water surface to bloom. A complete act of betrayal...!

So, when distinguishing between a lotus and a water lily, where should we look?
Let's line up the two photos.

The photo on the left is a lotus, and the photo on the right is a water lily.
Somehow, the lotus photo looks a bit more bushy, doesn't it...!

The reason the lotus gives a bushier impression is that the height of the leaves is different between the lotus and the water lily.
Water lily leaves are only on the water surface, but lotus leaves, like the flowers, extend above the water surface.
This is the easiest feature to distinguish between a lotus and a water lily.

The way to distinguish between a lotus and a water lily is: "If the leaves extend above the water surface, it's a lotus; if the leaves are attached to the water surface, it's a water lily!"

By the way, if you look inside the flower, you can easily distinguish them because the structure of the flower is different.

This is a photo of lotus and water lily flowers.
There are many things of similar shape in the center of the water lily, but in the center of the lotus, there is something flat...!

In both flowers, the basic structure of the flower, "there is a pistil in the center of the flower, and stamens around it," does not change.

However, in the lotus, there is a flat structure called a receptacle in the center of the flower. The yellow dots seen inside the receptacle are the tips of the pistils, the parts called stigmas that receive pollen. The things that look like a collection of yellow sparklers drooping around the receptacle are the stamens.

In the water lily, it is difficult to distinguish between stamens and pistils, but the yellow part in the center is the pistil, and there are stamens around the pistil. The rod-shaped things that extend straight up with purple tips are the stamens.

By the way, the lotus receptacle changes its name when it matures after blooming, and is called a fruit receptacle.
In the fruit receptacle, fruits are formed where the stigmas used to be, and those fruits fall, and the seeds inside the fruits germinate, connecting new life again.

Because this fruit receptacle looks like a beehive, it came to be called "hachisu," and it is said that "hachisu" was corrupted and came to be called "hasu" (lotus).
Roughly, this is the basic story of the lotus.

Ah, the basic information was long...!
But actually, I haven't covered everything yet!
The lotus has too much charm!!!

Besides that, there are many things to talk about, such as the fact that lotus leaves have a function to repel water, which is called the "lotus effect," that the receptacle generates heat during blooming to attract insects, and that it is said that the lotus makes a popping sound when it blooms, but I will stop here for now!
If you are interested, please read the references!

Well then, I'm a little tired of just talking about lotuses, so let's take a break and talk about my "bangs."

Suddenly, do you have bangs?
I do. There was a time when I didn't have bangs because it was too much trouble to fix them, but they didn't suit me, so for the past few years, I've been living with bangs.

I feel calm when I have bangs, so I have no complaints about that, but when time passes after cutting my hair and my bangs grow and enter my field of vision, I think, "How annoying."
When I'm working at home, such as writing, it's no problem if I pin them up with a large hair clip, and in fact, my vision is better that way, so when I want to concentrate in front of my desk, I sometimes don't cut them even if they are a bit long, but when I have an appointment to meet someone or go out, at the timing when I think, "I'm going to get ready to face the outside world!", I stand in front of the mirror with scissors and cut my bangs myself.

And it is only at such times that I always cut my bangs too short and fail.

They become short to the level where I think, is this a talent of mine?
Previously, even when I asked at a beauty salon, "Please cut only my bangs," I failed.
Eh, are my bangs cursed??

However, even if my bangs are short, my important plans don't waver, and it's not like my appointments to meet people disappear.

But I have a convenient head, for better or worse.
When I'm absorbed in important plans, I completely forget about my too-short bangs~ (idiot)
But in a sudden moment, I remember my bangs and feel the urge to hide them with my hand, something like that.

When I want to get ready, I'm often nervous and anxious, so maybe I'm entrusting that anxiety to the failure of my bangs (just guessing).

Well, I am a person who continues to repeat stupid failures like this periodically, but people around me surprisingly don't notice such stupid failures, or even if they do, they don't bother to mention them.
Of course, they have no interest in other people's bangs, and even more so because they are weird, there is no merit in mentioning them.
But that kind of distant, formal distance makes me, whose motto is "When you can't do anything, just laugh for now," feel a little sad.

However, before, when I cut my bangs and failed, there was someone who teased me with a good sense of distance.
At the time, I thought, "Shut up, don't mess with me lol," but I liked that distance with that person, where we could dare to touch on the failure and turn it into laughter, and joke around.

That person has already left Okinawa and gone to the next place, so I can't meet them easily like before.
Even if that person is gone, I still fail to cut my bangs without learning my lesson.
But I guess no one will appear in this place who will touch on my short bangs anymore.
Every time I fail to cut my bangs, I've been thinking about things like that.

Now, there is more to the story above, but let's return to the topic of lotus flowers for a moment. I think I mentioned earlier that lotus flowers are called 'hasu' because they are 'hasu-hasu' (did I actually say that?), but did you know that among such lotus flowers, there are some that germinated after over two thousand years?

That lotus, which had been sleeping deep underground in the form of a fruit, was discovered by a researcher after two thousand years and germinated.
The germinated lotus grew steadily and is still blooming in various places today.
That lotus is now called the 'Oga Lotus,' named after the person who discovered the fruit.

Dr. Ichiro Oga, the discoverer of the Oga Lotus fruit, was a person who encountered lotus fruits of various ages and germinated them, with the theme that 'lotus fruits are long-lived.'
Among the lotus flowers Dr. Oga encountered, the oldest one, estimated to be a two-thousand-year-old fruit, was the Oga Lotus.
There is quite a bit of drama behind the discovery of the Oga Lotus, but I will omit that story this time.

If you are curious about the drama, check this out.

Chiba City 100th Anniversary Commemorative Manga ② ~The Miracle Flower That Bloomed Through Time and Passion: The Oga Lotus~ - YouTube

If you want to be intoxicated by the beauty of the Oga Lotus, go here.
The footage from when the flower fully opens until it closes is helplessly sexy... it's sexy (sorry, I couldn't restrain myself).

Time-lapse footage of the Oga Lotus (12-hour filming of the flower) (youtube.com)

In this way, Dr. Oga repeated many successes and failures before the Oga Lotus germinated, but ultimately, with the cooperation of many people, he dug up the lotus fruit that had been sleeping in the soil 6 meters underground and succeeded in germinating it.

Here, I will explain the germination process of the lotus.
As I mentioned earlier, the photo above is a lotus receptacle. I talked about how the lotus fruit was inside the holes of the receptacle.
In the germination process for lotus, we make a scratch on the pericarp that covers the surface of the lotus fruit to create an exit for the seed inside to germinate.

Now everyone, didn't question marks pop up in your brains when you were suddenly told about 'fruit,' 'seed,' and 'pericarp'?

It's okay, the person writing this is also confused (that's a big problem).
Let's go through it carefully, one by one!

First, about the fruit.
I've been using the word 'fruit' casually until now, but if you pick up something that looks like a seed on the side of the road, and it really is a seed, it is called a 'fruit' without question.
There may be exceptions, but even if you think 'It's a seed!', botanically it is called a 'fruit.' ...That's tedious, isn't it? (My true feelings are leaking out).

So-called fruits can be explained as what were once the ovules at the base of the flower and the ovary covering those ovules when the plant was 'blooming.'
When the flower withers and the ovary and ovules mature, the part that was the ovule becomes the seed, and the surface part that covered the ovary and ovules (= ovary wall) changes its name to the pericarp.

To explain it roughly, there is a chocolate ball with a peanut inside at the base of the flower; when it is a flower, the peanut is called the 'ovule' and the surrounding chocolate is called the 'ovary.'
However, when the flower withers and the chocolate ball part matures, the peanut is called the 'seed' and the surface of the surrounding chocolate part is called the 'pericarp,' and the entire chocolate ball is called the 'fruit.'
The part that actually sprouts and grows during germination is the 'seed' part, and the part that protects the seed is the 'pericarp' part.

Every time I hear that the ovary and ovules become a fruit when they mature, I am reminded of a 'mysterious weed' I saw on the side of the road.

If you look at the overall photo on the left, you can clearly see that the ovary on the right, where the petals have withered and fallen off, has swollen and become spherical, while the ovary on the left, where the petals are still attached, has not swollen. The two photos on the right are enlargements of each ovary part.
Well, if it grows this much, the name will change, won't it?

(By the way, the 'mysterious weed' seems to be a plant called Canna.)

Returning to the lotus, the pericarp covering the seeds of the lotus fruit is hard and sturdy.
Therefore, we perform germination treatment by making a scratch only on the pericarp, being careful not to damage the seed, so that the seed can easily come out.
By doing so, the lotus fruit that had been sleeping for two thousand years wakes up, grows steadily, and blooms.

Now, as you can see, the Oga Lotus was able to wake up from its long sleep after two thousand years because Dr. Oga performed the germination treatment on it.

What I thought about from this story is that 'in the end, no matter what kind of living thing it is, it cannot be involved in its own birth.'
This time, the lotus fruit that had been sleeping for two thousand years was discovered by Dr. Oga and, by having the germination treatment performed on it, began its life in a new place.
It was Dr. Oga who decided the place for the Oga Lotus's life, and the Oga Lotus had nothing to do with it.
Also, I don't think I was born into this world because I thought, 'Okay, I'm going to be born now!'

And just like being born, dying is also not a timing that you or the people around you can easily be satisfied with, even if it is your own life, and I think for now that there is no such thing as a farewell that everyone is satisfied with.

This story was about the encounter and farewell with this world regarding 'a single life,' but I think now that the same is true for encounters and farewells in the relationships between 'people and people,' and that there are no encounters or farewells that everyone is completely satisfied with.

Now, let's get back to the topic of my bangs.
I am, as always, failing to cut my own bangs without learning my lesson, but just recently, there was a day when I cut them shorter than ever before in my life.
I was feeling a bit worn out by various things at the time. Moreover, I had a very nerve-wracking event scheduled for the next day, so I stood in front of the bathroom mirror with the intention of "getting myself pumped up!" and cut my bangs.

Of course, I made a huge mess of it. They turned out incredibly short!!!

Right after I cut them, I made a huge fuss by myself because they looked so terrible, but regret comes too late. The vanished bangs wouldn't return. Joking to myself that "even with short bangs, I'm still just me," but feeling a little bit refreshed, I faced the nerve-wracking event the next day.

After somehow getting through the nerve-wracking event, I ducked into the restroom to take a breather, and caught sight of myself in the mirror with my short bangs.
Oh, right, my bangs were short. No one who was there said anything about it. Well, I suppose that's only natural. But still, I don't know.
At that moment, I suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion wash over me.
But it's not in my nature to worry about things I can't do anything about, so I quickly shifted my mood.

Alright, I did what I had to do, so for now, I'll go see my friend!

I put a lid on my tired feelings and escaped to my friend's place for the time being.
After talking with my friend and feeling a bit more settled, my friend casually said this:

"Hey, aren't your bangs shorter than usual?"

Oh? Oh, really??

Having completely forgotten about my short bangs while talking to my friend, I instinctively covered them with my hand at their words.
Seeing my reaction, my friend added, "No, it's not like they look weird or anything," but inwardly, I couldn't stop grinning.
And my friend, realizing from my reaction that I wasn't actually bothered by my short bangs, began to tease me openly.

At that moment, the tension in my shoulders suddenly melted away, and I thought that my life wasn't so bad after all.

This world isn't all about human relationships, but it made me a little happy to realize that even when my environment changes, I have been able to meet people who understand me and build relationships with them.

Now, from the topic of my own bangs, I realized that while we cannot control the timing of meetings and partings, we can change our actions leading up to them.
In fact, I sometimes think that for all living things, including humans, that is the only part we can truly change.

The Oga lotus, which had been sleeping for two thousand years, sprouted at an unexpected time after being discovered by Dr. Oga, but it grew healthily in its new home and began the process of creating new life.
And through that cycle of life, it continues to delight us who live in the modern age.

There is surely no inherent meaning in the meeting between Dr. Oga and the Oga lotus itself.
But if "something" was born from that meeting, I think it was a very meaningful encounter.
However, even if nothing had been born from it, I now think that would also be a kind of "meaning" in itself.


I am a person who tends to be a bit of a shut-in and is rather lazy (do you know that already?)
But precisely because of that, I want to cherish every single encounter with people and things.
That is why I interact with various people and things while thinking that I want to get to know the people I meet properly, and I want them to get to know me too.
But that doesn't mean I want to pry into their lives or be with them all the time.

It's more of a feeling that since we've gone to the trouble of meeting, let's try to get to know each other to find the most comfortable distance for both of us.

If we can communicate like that, I think we can meet and part ways without any unnecessary strain.


I recently parted ways with someone important to me, and that person and I were never in a very close relationship.
However, I believe I conveyed the feelings that I felt I "had to/wanted to" convey in my own way.

That is why, even though I feel lonely that they have departed for a new place, I am able to feel, "Thank you, let's meet again."

The reason I, who am terribly clumsy at conveying my true feelings to others, was able to act that way is surely because that person was good at "conveying their own feelings while also considering the other person."

It takes a lot of courage to convey your feelings to someone else.
At least, that's how it is for me. Because I don't want to be rejected after sharing my true feelings.
Especially if it's something that might make the other person uncomfortable, or something I want them to hear but don't necessarily need to say, I hesitate even more.
I think it's difficult to convey your feelings without having trust in yourself and in the other person.

But precisely for that reason, I decided I want to be the kind of person who takes the first step and conveys their feelings without pretense.
Just as that person who left for a new place did for me.
And by doing so, I hope I can become someone who makes others want to share their feelings with me as well.

I don't expect to be able to do that with everyone, but at least with the people I consider important, I want to be that kind of person.

If I can accumulate such meetings and partings, I think I can move forward in my own way without any unnecessary strain, or so I, still immature as I am, have thought.

Well, that's the end of this story.
I'm sure this time there were many abstract parts that were hard to understand, but please forgive me for that. The parts that were hard to understand are probably things that I, the writer, don't fully understand yet either.
I regret that there was less about plants, but sometimes this kind of thing is nice too, isn't it?

Thank you for reading until the end!
See you again!

References/Citations
Ichiro Oga, 1954. Talking about the Lotus. Shinobushoin, Tokyo, 238pp.
Japan Genetic Society, 2023. Biology Science Genetics May 2023 Issue (Vol.77-No.3): Flowering Lotus: History and Latest Research - Unraveling the Relationship with Humans, NTS, Tokyo, 80pp.
Kiyomi Shimizu, 2005. Illustrated Dictionary of Botanical Terms. Yasaka Shobo, Tokyo, 323pp.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelumbo_lutea, Nelumbo lutea (Wikipedia), accessed August 28, 2024.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jW_-vr1By70, Chiba City 100th Anniversary Commemorative Manga ② - The Miracle Flower that Bloomed Through Passion Across Time: The Oga Lotus (youtube.com), accessed August 28, 2024.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCjtp9cXAaM, Oga Lotus Time-lapse Video (12-hour filming of the flower) (youtube.com), accessed August 28, 2024.