Yokan Family 'Short-Short' Diary 6 - My 'Sweet & Bitter' Home -

📝 The road home is long

(My second son's friend is coming over to our house tomorrow)

Mom: 'Hey Dad. K's friend is coming over tomorrow and will be here until about 4:30, so could you kill time by shopping at the local supermarket on your way home, and only come back once Mom gives you the "OK"?'

Me: 'Sure thing. But since they're coming all this way, shouldn't I be there to greet the parents?'

Mom: 'It's fine, it's fine.'

Eldest son: 'Don't come home until you're told.'

Me: 'Like I said, I told you "I understand." Why is it so bad for Dad to come home?'

Second son: 'No!'

Mom: 'If you come home, you'll want to take a shower and stuff, and that would be awkward for the other mother, wouldn't it?'

Me: 'Alright, alright.'

Eldest son: 'Dad, you're all sweaty, so you absolutely must not come home, okay?'

Me: 'Y (eldest son), you've been repeating "don't come home" a lot, haven't you? It wouldn't be so bad for the other mother to know about "a dad who works hard while dripping with sweat," would it?'

Second son: 'No!'

Me: 'K (second son), are you just going to stick to "No"? When you say it like that, it actually makes me want to come home even more, Dad that I am.'

Mom: (in a suppressed, quiet tone) 'You're persistent, Dad. The point is that you're smelly and it's a nuisance, okay? 💢'

Me: 'Yes. My apologies. 😅'

(It seems I have a tendency to think that "the part where I get scolded by Mom is all part of the set." Yes. That is precisely why I am an "eccentric." It goes without saying that the next day, I faithfully followed my family's instructions and wandered around the supermarket until 5:00, but let's keep it between us that Mom forgot to send me the "OK" message. 😆)

📝The Birth of "Handwriting Mitaro"!

(While working on summer vacation homework with my eldest son)

Me: 'Hey, hey, Y. Your erasing with the eraser is too light, and now I can't tell which is the answer—the original or the correction—so make sure you erase the letters you want to get rid of properly!'

Eldest son: '(Staring at the paper) What? It's not erased at all!'

Me: 'No, no, hold on. Where exactly are you looking that makes you think it's "erased"? Take a good look.'

Eldest son: 'Ugh. Well, then, you erase it, Dad.'

Me: 'No, no, I don't know what you're talking about. Erasing it isn't that big of a task, is it?'

Eldest son: 'You're annoying.'

Me: 'Oh! You just said something you shouldn't have said to me. Mom! When Dad says "erase these letters properly," Y talks back and won't do it!'

(I show the eldest son's answer sheet to Mom, who came from the kitchen)

Mom: '(Looking at the paper) Y. Even looking at it, Mom can see it's not erased, and it's so messy it's hard to read.'

Eldest son: 'Yeah. 😅'

Mom: 'Also, I've been hearing you, and your disrespectful attitude toward your dad isn't good, is it?'

Eldest son: 'Yes. 😅'

Mom: 'School is out right now and Dad is acting as your teacher, so you have to listen to what he says, right?'

Eldest son: 'Yeah.'

Mom: 'Well then, since it's messy, Mom is going to erase all the answers on these two pages.'

Eldest son: 'What! Yeah. 😅'

(Mom erased all the answers on the two pages with an eraser and dashed back to the kitchen)

Me: '(Wow! Mom is so bold as expected! 😆)'

Eldest son: '(In a low voice so Mom wouldn't hear) Why are you telling on me to Mom, Dad?'

Me: '(Trying to hold back laughter) You're the one who ended up in this situation because you were being cheeky and talking back.'

Eldest son: 'Ugh!'

Me: '(Laughs). Come on, come on, hurry up and fix it.'

(After staring intently at the paper, my eldest son successfully restored a full page of the text Mom had erased by following the indentations in no time at all.)

Eldest son: 'Alright. One page done!'

Me: 'No way, are you a genius? You were hiding such a special skill? Or are you just someone with 'super heavy pen pressure'? 😆'

Eldest son: 'Dad, you're annoying~' (He says under his breath, while staring at the paper again and briskly 'restoring' the answers for the second page.)

Me: 'No, no. You need to reflect, read the problems properly, and solve them again! Otherwise, I'm going to start calling you 'Hisseki-Mitaro' (Handwriting-Seer) from today on.'

Eldest son: 'Ugh 💢 What is that?'

Me: 'What was that? Talking back again, 'Mitaro'? 😆'

(From the kitchen)

Mom: 'Hey! Stop chatting away and get your homework done!'

Eldest son & Me: 'Yes, ma'am~ 😅'

('The one who stands at the top of the pyramid of all living things = Mom 💕'. This is the 'common understanding' shared by the father and son of the Yokan family. Next time. Next time, I will learn from Mom and shut down my sons' sass with fatherly authority. The battle of the 'still-growing-at-nearly-fifty' Yokan continues 💪)