Yokan Family 'Short-Short' Diary 5 - 'One Hundred' etc. -

📝'Chubby?' Manufacturing Machine

(At my parents' house)

Me: 'Y (my eldest son) has been gaining weight again lately, so please try not to feed him here.'

Mom: 'Huh? I thought Y had been losing a little weight lately.'

Me: 'No, no, he's definitely gaining weight (laughs). Your overflowing love for your grandson is making you blind, Mom.'

Mom: 'What are you talking about? I'm looking after my grandson. If Y gives me a sad face and says, "I'm hungry," I can't just not give him anything, can I?'

Me: 'Thanks for looking after him. But for the sake of your precious grandson's future, please try to hold back.'

Mom: 'But I only give Y things like yogurt with almost no calories, or tiny little pieces of bread.'

Me: 'There's no such thing as bread having "almost no calories." You're not a Sandwichman comedian, and his weight is actually going up.'

Mom: 'Y is growing taller too, you're overthinking it.'

Me: 'No, no, the "end result of not thinking" is standing right in front of you (me). You don't want your grandson to end up over 100 kilos like me, do you?'

Mom: '"End result" (laughs). Always blaming your mother. Yokan, stop talking about yourself like that too. It has a bad influence on Y.'

Me: 'I'll be careful about that. But honestly, when you become a "chubby kid," you lose confidence in yourself, and you end up making a lot of negative comments.'

Mom: 'Is that how it works?'

Me: 'That's how it works. If your husband, son, and grandson were all "chubby," you wouldn't like it either, right?'

Mom: 'Wait a minute. Dad and Yokan are fine, but Y is not "fat," he is "chubby"! 💢'

Me: 'Alright, alright. 😅'

(I'm sure that in the eyes of the world, "fat" and "chubby" are in the same category. Even so, it feels like the "hospitality of the people of Fukushima," not just my mother's, has a bit of a bug in it. I'm grateful for the care and the sentiment, but I can state for a fact that "there is zero benefit to being over 100 kilos," so I will keep telling my mother that each time.)

📝 "100 times" more

(In the living room)

Eldest son: 'Dad~'

Me: 'What is it~?'

Eldest son: 'Did you have fun on your school trip, Dad?'

Me: 'Like I said before, I barely remember it, so I guess it wasn't that fun.'

Eldest son: 'Hmm. Well, on a scale of 1 to 10?'

Me: 'Maybe a 2?'

Eldest son: 'Then how about your happiness right now?'

Me: 'That's definitely a 10!'

Eldest son: 'Oh. Why?'

Me: '"Why?" (laughs). Because I was able to marry Mom, and I got to meet Y and K.'

Eldest son: 'Oh. I was born as Mom's child, so my happiness is 200 points. Dad, you're only at 10, huh?'

Me: 'That's cheating~! You were the one who said "on a scale of 1 to 10"!'

Eldest son: 'But for me, it's 200 points on a scale of 10.'

Me: 'No way, that makes no sense!'

Eldest son: 'If you can be with Mom and your happiness is "only 10 points," I'll have to tell Mom about this.'

Me: 'No, no, no, that's ridiculous. Why am I being treated like I did something wrong when I answered with the "maximum score"!'

Eldest son: 'Then why don't you change your score?'

Me: '(bitter laugh). Alright then, Dad is 200 points too!'

Eldest son: 'Hehehe.'

Me: 'Hmm! I see. 200 points, huh.'

Eldest son: 'What's wrong?'

Me: 'I got a score of 2 points when I was in elementary school, so I was just thinking, "I'm 100 times happier now than I was back then." 🥹'

Eldest son: 'Heh. Dad, are you crying a little?'

Me: 'Don't say things like that. I'm not crying! 😭'

Eldest son: 'Mom~! Dad's crying again! 😆'

(Why is it that when I talk to my son, I often 'lose track of who the parent is'? I'm a 'pubescent man approaching fifty' Yokan, who gets easily made to cry by his eldest son, as if it were 'like taking candy from a baby.' Hang in there, me, to maintain a father's dignity!)