What I want to tell parents after living with psychogenic urinary frequency for over 30 years since the first grade.

Nice to meet you. My name is Watame.
I developed psychogenic urinary frequency in the first grade of elementary school, and before I knew it, I had been living with this symptom for over 30 years.

This may be sudden, but—
Does your child have these symptoms?
・They want to go to the bathroom repeatedly during class or when out.
・Even when they go, almost nothing comes out most of the time.
・The frequency increases especially before nerve-wracking events like field trips or recitals.
・They say "I want to go to the bathroom," but people around them say, "You just went, didn't you?"

If this applies to them, it might be psychogenic urinary frequency.
When I was a child, I felt the same way, wondering to myself, "But I just went..." while my head was completely filled with thoughts about the bathroom.

In this note, based on my experience of living with this symptom for over 30 years, I will talk about what I want parents to know.
I hope this will help you understand your child's feelings even a little and provide hints for supportive care that can put them at ease.

The trigger for the onset

The spring I became a first grader. A new classroom, new friends, a new teacher. While I was excited, every day was a series of tensions.
Introducing myself in front of everyone, giving presentations—situations where I had to "speak in front of others" that hadn't existed before increased, and my heart kept pounding for long periods.

Then one day, I suddenly wanted to go to the bathroom during class. And not just once, but repeatedly.
I wondered to myself, "But I just went..." but I couldn't hold it and raised my hand again. The moment I did, the class's eyes were on me, and I felt embarrassed—from this day on, my long relationship with psychogenic urinary frequency began.

The daily life that changed due to frequent urination

When I went to the bathroom during class, the class's eyes would turn toward me all at once.
Voices saying "Again?" or mocking laughter. One day, I was even given a nickname like "Hanako-san who loves the bathroom!"
I laughed it off, but it was actually very painful.

Field trips, recitals, sports festivals—events that should have been fun were, for me, "days where I was more worried about the bathroom than usual." The anxiety of "What if I don't make it in time?" never left my head, and more than half of my heart was always occupied by tension.

My mother was also worried and took me to a urologist, but the test results showed "no abnormalities."
Back then, there was no internet, and I couldn't easily look up symptoms.
My family and I, who didn't even know the term "psychogenic urinary frequency," had no choice but to be at a loss.

As a result, I was scolded more often, told "Don't go to the bathroom so many times!" or "Try to hold it a little."
Being scolded -> feeling self-loathing for "going to the bathroom again" -> feeling tense about "not being allowed to go to the bathroom" -> wanting to go again—in that vicious cycle, I became even more unable to get away from the bathroom.

Places of tension outside of school

For me, the places of tension were not just at school. Another major cause was the violin I was learning. The monthly Sunday group lesson was hell.
Many people gathered in the same room, and we played in turns. Even during that time, the sensation of "I want to go to the bathroom" would attack me repeatedly.

When I snuck out to go to the bathroom, my mother finally exploded in anger.
"You just went!" "Isn't it just your imagination?" "The other kids are focused and don't go at all!"
Moreover, since I often didn't actually urinate when I went to the bathroom, I was sometimes accused of "just wanting to skip the lesson."
I didn't want to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't get anyone to understand—that pain left a great sense of loneliness in me as a child.

By then, there was nowhere, either at school or outside of school, where I didn't have to worry about the bathroom.

The trigger for the symptoms to lighten

My symptoms calmed down a little after I advanced to the second grade.
I think it was a big factor that I got used to school and made good friends in class.
Furthermore, at home, the time I spent absorbed in the Super Famicom increased.
When I was enjoying games with my friends, I could completely forget about the bathroom.

People often say "playing too many video games is bad," but for me, this was the most effective "escape from symptoms."
Of course, during events, I was still nervous and couldn't get the bathroom out of my head, but the time I could spend immersed in things I liked softened the symptoms.

Advice for parents

To parents who are worried that their child might have "psychogenic urinary frequency."
I have lived with psychogenic urinary frequency for over 30 years.
Looking back, what was more painful than the symptoms themselves was "not being understood."
Words like "Again?", "Aren't you going too much?", and "Just hold it" become a huge pressure for a child.

What I would like to ask parents is not to scold them and not to rush them.
The child doesn't want to go to the bathroom repeatedly either.
They themselves are confused and anxious, thinking, "I just went a moment ago..."
When they are told "You're going too much!" on top of that, the added tension of "I might get scolded again" can make the symptoms worse.

Also, encouraging them by saying "Go ahead" is also important.
If there is an environment where they can go with peace of mind, the tension of "I have to go" will gradually decrease.
As a result, the number of times they go to the bathroom may naturally decrease.

And , do not blame the symptoms on "the child's personality" or "laziness".
I was told it was "all in my head" or that I was "just not concentrating," which made me blame myself more than necessary.
If I had been accepted back then with words like "It's okay" and "Just relax," I might have been able to feel at ease much sooner.

It is said that psychogenic urinary frequency often eases when the mind is at peace.
I believe that for a child, the sense of security that comes from feeling "I am protected" and "I am understood" is the best medicine of all.

Next time, I plan to write about living with psychogenic urinary frequency: The Adolescence Edition!