More Than Friends, Less Than Lovers — The Future of an Ambiguous Relationship Reflected in Tarot

On a holiday afternoon, I was idly watching the drizzling rain from the window of my usual cafe. As I wrapped both hands around a warm cup of hot cocoa, a heavy, gloomy feeling, much like the rainy sky outside, spread through my heart. I was thinking about him again.

I wonder how long it has been since our relationship started. It is too intimate to call it just "friendship," yet it lacks the definitive words to call it a "romance." While this ambiguous distance sometimes feels like a blanket gently wrapping around me, right now, I am just feeling unbearably pained, struggling with emotions that have nowhere to go. When I cannot talk to anyone about this confusion, yet cannot bear it alone, I always turn to the power of tarot. For four years now, tarot has been by my side in my daily life, acting like a mirror that reflects the voice of my heart.

I take a deep breath and ask in my heart, "Where is this relationship with him going? What should I do?"

As always, I shuffle the cards with my own hands and gently spread them out on the table. Three cards appeared, as if reflecting the state of my heart.

The first card represents the current situation.

What appeared was the Two of Swords in reverse.

Ah, I knew it. This card represents the postponement of decisions or a state of being stuck and unable to move. It seemed to show exactly who I am deep down—unable to take action toward him, unable to fully probe his feelings. The image of a blindfolded figure crossing two swords was the very picture of me, trapped in the option of "maintaining the status quo." I don't know which way to go, so I am just waiting for time to pass. However, this reversed card also felt like it was gently urging me, saying, "The time for a decision is coming soon."

The second card represents potential problems or my own feelings.

What appeared was The Lovers in reverse.

The moment I saw this card, I caught my breath. The Lovers in the upright position signifies love, harmony, and choice. However, in reverse, it can imply disharmony in a relationship, hesitation, wrong choices, or even a breakup. The fact that my relationship with him is far from ideal. The anxiety that perhaps our values don't align. And above all, the deep hesitation about whether continuing this ambiguous relationship is truly the right choice for me. The card seemed to be quietly telling me that I myself am running away from making a "choice" about our relationship.

My heart, reflected by tarot

The third card indicates the future or advice.

What appeared was Strength in the upright position.

This card seemed to shine a warm light into my heart, which had been filled with anxiety and hesitation. The figure of a woman opening a lion's mouth and gently soothing it perfectly illustrates my own inner strength and patience. It seemed to be teaching me the importance of facing the situation with love and compassion rather than becoming emotional. It taught me not to rush or force the relationship to progress, but to listen to the voice of my own heart and deal with things calmly.

Tarot never tells you what to do in a definitive way. It simply gently suggests what kind of situation I am in, what kind of feelings I am harboring, and how I can overcome the situation from here on out.

The Strength card seemed to be asking me, "What do you really want? How much do you truly cherish him?"

While I feel the pain of remaining in an ambiguous relationship, there was also a fear in my heart that this relationship might end. But tarot does not deny either of those feelings. Rather, it teaches me that by facing those emotions, I can discover the "strength" sleeping within me.

The rain outside the window had turned into a light drizzle before I knew it. The cocoa had gone completely cold, but I felt as if a little warmth had been lit inside my heart. It didn't give me a clear answer. What will happen to my relationship with him is not something decided by a single card; it is something that can change depending on my actions.

Even so, by drawing the tarot, my heart was organized, and my vague anxiety took on a bit of shape. I feel like I have gained the courage to face my emotions properly instead of bottling them up. I will believe in my own "strength" and face my relationship with him—and above all, myself—with kindness and patience.

In this way, tarot always quietly accepts the confusion deep in my heart that I can't tell anyone else. Of course, there are times when I want to do a quick reading digitally, so I usually use an AI tarot called Uranize. Since I am an official ambassador, I'm happy that I can easily try it out even for small things. I'm sure you can also gently share your inner thoughts with the cards.