Settling into the Warm Darkness

Namaste! This is Tarika, a 779-year-old soul, R-rated.
I am writing to you again this week from India. In PUNE, where the OSHO Meditation Resort is located, I bumped into a friend I hadn't seen in almost 18 years, and it feels so much like a soul's homecoming.

Having finished the Transition course with Maneesha that I mentioned last time, I am finally taking a breather, stretching my wings, working, and meditating every day. My current lesson is 'slowing down' and 'what is spaciousness?' I have always tried to give my all to whatever is in front of me, but there are always things that slip through the cracks or get forgotten—things just don't go as planned, do they!
To make life even more enjoyable, perhaps it's not about 'what should I do?' but rather 'what don't I need to do?'
Working too hard is no good, after all.

I had a private session with Maneesha when she visited Japan last year, and I asked:
“What do you want to talk about now?”
“I have no idea how I should grow old from here on out.”
Those were the words that slipped out of my mouth in response to her graceful, wrinkled smile and quiet inquiry.
She said, “I’m holding a course in PUNE at the end of January next year, why don't you come?”
That is how I ended up participating in a group work session for the first time in a while.


Most of the participants were seasoned sannyasins much older than me, with the majority in their 70s and some up to 88! In Japan, I don't think people often consider going abroad to meditate, dance, and deepen their own process.
The generally recommended way for the elderly to live is to spend as little money as possible, live purely, correctly, and quietly, and lead a frugal life without causing trouble for anyone.

Japan is a country of longevity, but it seems that old age arrives early and people are forced into retirement. While there are certainly elegant and wonderful seniors, there aren't that many of them.

At my current age, I am usually the oldest person wherever I go, but here I am a baby, just a little fledgling.
I have been well taken care of by the older sisters, rocked in a cradle of great security, and have received plenty of nourishment for my soul.

Since I lost my mother early, I realize that being acknowledged and cared for by older women (even in small, simple ways) is deeply healing the loneliness I sometimes feel and my excessive self-reliance.

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It seems that old age abroad arrives after 70, but with 'death' coming into view to some extent, there was a faint atmosphere of how to wrap up one's life, even if it wasn't clearly put into words.

In the dark meditation that was part of the program, I think I was able to experience, to some degree, what the state of death is like.
In the darkness where I couldn't tell up from down or side to side, the contours of my own body disappeared. I knew there were people next to me, but it was as if no one was there at all; I was alone and satisfied, yet whispers echoed from nowhere, as if a multitude of beings were present. In the midst of this, my hands began to dance, fluttering in time with light that felt like an aurora descending.

In the darkness, my body temperature rose, and it was so warm that I began to sweat. My body lost its outline, and I had a very strange sensation, as if I had become pure consciousness. Perhaps I tasted a fragment of what it feels like to shed the physical body. I wouldn't know for sure, as I've never died.
When the light returned at the end of the meditation, I dragged my heavy, sluggish body home, barely able to move it.
Perhaps this is what it feels like to enter into a physical body. After all, when I was just soul and consciousness, I was truly light.

Light = Yang = Life involves self-realization and growth, and
Darkness = Yin = Death brings warmth and peace, a rest for the soul.

We do not have the words to speak much about 'death,' which is an unknown realm. If we could properly acknowledge that we continue to take an attitude as if persuading those who are about to enter that realm to stay in 'life,' and that we are hindering the departure of those who are dying, wouldn't life become much richer? If we didn't use our strength to cling to life that is withering and trying to return to the earth, I think we could become pure consciousness and open up space for meditation.

Therefore, for a meditator, the departure into death is a departure into a new dimension, and nothing but a blessing.
They say that people die in their sleep every day.
Falling asleep is entering the world of death.
Being awake in sleep is the most difficult YOGA (practice), and it is meditation.
In Japan, the Dream Record left behind by Myoe Shonin teaches us many things.

In my recent groups, the mid-life crisis has been a major theme. I believe that how we face this 'crisis' brings deep insight into how we will be in the future and becomes a door to a truly rich life.
If we can understand the difference between healthy interdependence, mutual aid, the exchange of love, and being alone versus loneliness, and relax and find peace there, only then can we coexist with others.

When entering into that, sexual desire is the most difficult theme to control and one that cannot be skipped. As we see in many recent news stories, we cannot avoid learning how to handle sex, which is a power strong enough to destroy a life.
Just as 'life and death' are one circle, 'sex and death' are also one.

Therefore, I think there are more important things than struggling to seek a partnership filled with the ego's wishes, such as doing something 'to be loved.' As we reach the second half of life, rather than wasting time continuing to be involved with the ego's wishes, I want to walk straight toward the truth of the soul.

Love♡

Tarika

From the newsletter issued on February 5, 2025