Even When Told to 'Do It Carefully,' I Don't Know What 'Careful' Means (A Self-Introductory Essay)

"Do it more carefully."
My wife gets angry at me for how I clean the kitchen.

Since you don't get scolded much as an adult, when I am occasionally scolded, I can really understand the feelings of the children who are usually scolded by their teachers.

"What do you mean by 'careful'?"
I make that kind of face and silently rebel.

For example, it is said that children with autism need specific instructions rather than vague ones, or they will be confused about what to do, but that is not limited to them.
I am the same way.

Even though where 'careful' begins depends on the person, people who are careful tell those who are less careful to 'be careful.'

"I thought I was being careful enough?"

I feel resentful, wishing they would give me specific instructions on what to do and how much to do, rather than a vague instruction like 'be careful.'

People who are sufficiently careful understand what 'careful' means.

However, 'sloppy people' don't really know where 'careful' begins.

Similarly, people who are sufficiently kind know what kindness is, so they are kind automatically without even thinking about it.

However, people who are not kind cannot be kind unless they are conscious of it.

Even if you are told to 'be kind' when you don't know what kindness is, it's the same as being told to 'do it properly,' and you don't know what to do or how to do it.

When I see high school students being scolded by their teachers, I often think about this.

"Don't be sloppy!" "Do it properly!"

Even if they are told that, they don't know what or how to correct it.

For children who don't know what 'careful' or 'kind' means, being told to 'be careful' or 'be kind' feels like they've just been given an 'X' and then left alone.

I think, 'Tell me what I need to improve next to get an 'O' (a checkmark).'

Just as people with clear skin usually don't get breakouts even without meticulous skincare, and parents of children who are good at studying usually don't tell their children to 'study,' 'beautiful people' and 'capable people' are often not conscious of anything.

Because they are beautiful or capable without even trying, they don't understand what it means to make an effort.

People with clear skin stay beautiful even if they skip toner, and people who study do so daily without thinking of it as an effort.

However, people who cannot be 'careful' without being conscious of it, or people who cannot maintain 'beauty' without putting in the effort to be beautiful, have no choice but to be conscious and improve the situation.

I want the people who are doing the scolding to understand that.

Otherwise, no matter how much they scold, there will be no improvement.

If I could do it by being told 'do it properly,' I would already be doing it properly.

I can't do it properly because I don't know what 'properly' means.

One summer night after I graduated from university and was living in Koenji.

It was past 2:00 AM, and when my girlfriend woke up to go to the bathroom, she found me slumped on the floor in the hallway in front of the bathroom, still holding a book.

I had fallen asleep in front of the bathroom while holding a book.

She thinks, 'In a place like this...'

Grabbing my clothes, she shakes me and asks, 'Hey, why do you always sleep in places like this!?'

Half-conscious, I mutter to myself while being shaken, 'You ask why, but even I don't know.'

Just as people who think it's natural to sleep in a futon sleep in a futon, people who don't find it strange to sleep in front of the bathroom sleep in front of the bathroom.

If that's strange, I want you to give me specific instructions before shaking me and asking 'Why!?'

In this case, specific instructions would be something like 'Read your book on the futon after 12 o'clock' or 'Lay out a futon in front of the bathroom,' rather than 'Sleep on the futon.'

Instructions should be specific.

Because everyone has a desire to improve.
(Sorry about that)