The Woman Who Becomes Unforgettable to Men Just by Stopping These Things

Love Class for Sensitive Women

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Hello.
I am Goro Tameike, a love therapist.
Today, I have received a consultation from Kizuko-san.

I check if I have a LINE message from him the moment I wake up in the morning.
If there is no reply,

I even use my secret social media accounts to check on him,
and I really end up digging into everything.
It has been like this for a long time.
Love is the center of my life,
but it is not
going well at all,and I am truly sad (crying).
I am sure there are things in my daily behavior

that I should stop doing.
I want you to check them for me, Goro-san,
so that my love life can go well.
That is the consultation.

Speculation is an action that, far from eliminating anxiety, increases it infinitely.

I end up checking if I have a LINE message from him the moment I wake up.
If there is no reply, I look at social media and even use secret accounts to check on him.
There are many women who are in this state of 'not being able to get love out of their heads,'
but in fact, these are the very people for whom love is least likely to go well.

The actions taken by women with a strong tendency toward love dependency,
even if they look different on the surface, can be categorized into just three types at their root.
And,
just by letting go of these three things,
you will change from a 'chasing' love to a 'chased' love.

3 actions you should stop to become unforgettable to men

1. Speculative behavior

Speculative behavior is the act of arbitrarily guessing the other person's feelings or situation and reacting to that anxiety.
The problem is not the speculation itself,
but the fact that anxiety grows due to speculation,
and you end up running toward actions of checking, monitoring, and over-analyzing.

[Example]
- Checking your smartphone repeatedly just because a reply is slow, thinking 'maybe he hates me'
- Looking for signs of other women on social media / monitoring him with a secret account
- Feeling down just because his message is short
- Over-analyzing casual remarks negatively

This happens in the order of 'Speculation -> Anxiety -> Action'.

If you continue speculative behavior, your anxiety will amplify and your confidence will be eroded.
This is because when anxiety is strong, confirmation bias kicks in, and you only collect information that supports your anxiety.
Furthermore, when men feel the vibe that they are 'being suspected' or 'about to be tied down,' they tend to try to distance themselves.

At the root of speculative behavior is the 'fear of abandonment' of wanting to be loved and not wanting to be left behind.fear of abandonmentexists.
This is a common characteristic of people with so-called anxious attachment.
However, anxious women are naturally people who can love others very deeply.
That is precisely why you should not let yourself be swallowed by anxiety and should let go of speculative behavior.

2. Appeasement behavior

Appeasement behavior is the act of bending your own values or boundaries because you want to be liked by the other person.
This is what is called 'over-adaptation' in psychology.

[Example]
- Changing your clothes, hairstyle, or hobbies to suit his preferences
- Not being able to refuse even if you really want to
- Swallowing what you want to say
- Your life becoming centered around him
- Acting like the woman he wants you to be

If you continue to appease, men will find it harder to feel attracted to a 'woman who conforms too much to them.'
This is because men are easily attracted to women who have their own axis and world.
The more you appease, the less room there is for him to chase, and your natural charm will also fade.

At the root of appeasement behavior is the desire for approval of 'not wanting to be hated' and 'wanting to be liked.'
But appeasement is not because you are weak.
It is an 'old habit' of thinking 'I have to conform to be loved.'
old habit

Because it is a habit, you can let it go from the moment you notice it.

3. Expectation behavior

Expectant behavior is behavior based on the premise that 'the other person will fulfill me.'
It is the psychology of making him your source of affection.

[Example]
・Demanding expressions of affection too frequently
・Sending follow-up messages when he is slow to reply
・Asking for reasons repeatedly when you feel he is being cold

Because the male brain has an 'instinct to pursue,' if he is demanded too much, the space for him to pursue disappears.
Furthermore, when the weight of demands and expectations is conveyed, he feels as if he is being burdened with responsibility, and he may unconsciously distance himself.
And every time an expectation is not met, your heart wears down, and your life becomes centered around him.

At the root of expectant behavior, there is often emotional starvation (a lack of experience in being fulfilled).
That is why what is important is not to have him fill that void, but
to fill your own heart yourself.

Common traits of women whose love lives have changed

Women who used to mix guessing, pleasing, and expecting continued to practice letting go of those behaviors, and as a result, their expressions became calm,
they stopped worrying too much about his reactions,
and they became able to enjoy their own time even on days they couldn't see him.
Then, naturally, messages and invitations from him increased, and the distance between them closed.

The reason they were able to change is not because they learned 'techniques to be pursued.'
It is not because they manipulated a man's heart either.
They simplylet go of 3 habits.

3 practices for letting go that you can start today

① Guessing behavior: Wait 10 minutes without confirming
When anxiety arises, put it into words by saying 'I'm creating the worst-case scenario right now,' and stop the behavior. Wait 10 minutes.

② Pleasing behavior: Make one choice based on your own standards per week
Choose for yourself, not for him. Small things are fine.

③ Expectant behavior: Fill your own anxiety
Warm your body, listen to music, take deep breaths, write in a diary, go for a walk, talk to a friend.
Return the 'role of providing security' from him to yourself.

Summary

The behaviors that women with strong tendencies toward love dependency end up doing are
guessing behavior, pleasing behavior, and expectant behavior—these three.

At the root of each one, there is
fear of abandonment / desire for approval / emotional starvation.

First, just pick one and try letting it go starting today.
You are not the one chasing; you are a woman worth being pursued.
Let's regain your own center and get your state of mind in order.

Announcement (Gift)

Add the official LINE 'Kizu-Koi' as a friend and register for the newsletter to receive4 bonus videos + text as a gift!

1. Love 'Wound Tendency' Type Diagnosis

2. Immediate Improvement Methods by Love 'Wound Tendency' Type

3. Self-work to heal wounds

4. The reason Goro Tameike works as a 'Relationship Therapist for Sensitive Women'

Please register for LINE from here ↓

I will continue to deliver many tips on how to get along well with your 'sensitive self'.
I look forward to seeing you in the next article.

See you in the next article.

This was Goro Tameike, Relationship Therapist.