Voice of Paper #AutumnPirikaGrandPrix(1200 characters)
I sit on a park bench, feeling restless. It has been three years since I started my dream job, and I have been constantly beaten down by the gap between my dreams and reality.
Should I just give up already?
Chasing a dream was many times more exhausting than I had imagined. I should have known that.
As I looked up at the ginkgo leaves beginning to turn color, a cold wind shook the tree branches violently, and my vision was blocked with a rustling sound.
What covered my face was a single sheet of white paper. On it,
“Don't cry”
was written.
I couldn't help but snap back, "Hey, I'm not crying yet."
Come to think of it, I feel like I said something similar to someone a long time ago. While I was thinking, the surface of the paper shimmered and
“Really?”
new letters emerged.
◇
A cold, snowy day. I had argued with my parents about my future path and ran out of the house without even wearing a coat.
Alone on a park bench. My head was burning hot, but my body was getting cold from my fingertips and toes. As I shivered from frustration and the cold, a stranger's coat was gently draped over my shoulders.
When I looked up, Kamiya-kun from my class was standing there looking awkward. Then, he said just one word: "Don't cry."
I always thought Kamiya-kun, who was always reading books alone at school, was someone who had no interest in others, so I was deeply surprised that he spoke to me in this situation.
Suddenly feeling embarrassed, I retorted, "I'm not crying!" and he smiled with a slightly troubled look, saying, "Really?"
◇
As I stared blankly at the paper in my hand, I felt like I could smell that day, and my nose stung.
That person who stayed by my side in silence.
That person I intended to thank properly at school, but never ended up speaking to. That person I haven't seen once since graduation. That person I heard passed away in an accident last month.
“It's okay to cry”
New words were spelled out on the paper one after another, and eventually it was filled with vibrant colors.
Something was overflowing from the bottom of my stomach, and it was painful. When the tears that spilled from my eyes against my will were absorbed by the mysterious paper, the paper slowly crumbled in my hands and danced in the air.
…It's beautiful, isn't it.
When I whispered that in my heart, the confetti stuck to my cheek as if to snuggle up to my tears.
◆
It's an unbelievable story, but when I woke up, I was paper.
It seems that what I think appears on my body.
I wanted to see you, so I literally flew here.
That day, what should I have said to you?
The more I thought about it, the less I could say.
No matter how many books I read or how much my vocabulary increased, I couldn't find the words to convey to you.
I only know you as the person who talked about your dreams to your friends in the classroom. I only know you with your eyes sparkling.
Using uncertain words felt dishonest.
If they don't reach you, then surely, any words are lies.
The world is made of lies.
The only thing that is certain is my own feelings right now.
I wish my feelings could just be conveyed to you as they are.
If only I were paper.
I could have told you everything.
(1200 characters)
Thank you very much for reading.🙏
I am submitting this to the "Autumn Pirika Grand Prix 2024." (The theme is "Paper.")
Thank you for your consideration!
#AutumnPirikaEntry
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