Developmental Support Consultations Were Not About the Child [Autistic Second Son: Fly, Fly Airplane Diary - Infant Edition 25]

Developmental support consultations were not
about the child

When Koki, who has developmental characteristics, started attending a developmental support center, I had a consultation with an outside specialist.

Unlike Teacher A, who was like a mother figure, this was a male teacher with a solid, dignified presence, and I approached the interview feeling a bit nervous.

The first thing the teacher asked me was...
“How do you feel about having a child like this?”

I was taken aback.
Not knowing how to answer immediately, I stammered, “...Well, since he is this way, I feel I have no choice but to go at his pace...”
As I answered in a flustered manner, the teacher asked further.

“In raising this child, what kind of things are you careful about, and how do you intend to raise him?”

Huh? How? Um, um, (← in my heart)

“...He has a strong tendency to enter his own world, so I try not to leave him alone as much as possible, by bothering him or playing with him.”
As I squeezed out a model answer while stumbling over my words, the teacher said:

“You know,

the most important thing when raising a child like this
is that the mother's own feelings are stable

.”

The teacher told me that the mother feeling stressed or having no breathing room is the worst thing for the child.

Is that so... In other words, I realized then that a developmental consultation is less about the child and more about receiving advice on the parent's mindset and emotional state.


Then, the teacher listed three important things.
Number 1
Have someone nearby you can always consult with

(family, friends, acquaintances).

It is very important to have someone you can rely on when something happens.
Having grandparents around is very good.
Finding someone in the neighborhood to help you is also good.
Participating in autism support groups.
Having lifelong friends is a strong support.

Number 2

Take the child out into society as much as possible.

Going shopping, eating out, having a barbecue with everyone—it might be difficult now, but get them used to it little by little.
It is important to guide them so they can blend into society.

Number 3

Give the child tasks at home as much as possible,
and let them have a sense of accomplishment that they did it or were praised!
even if it's just a little.

Autistic children are often told they can't do things and tend to become negative.
They tend to have negative feelings of boredom or inability.
Give them things they can do, and when they do them, praise them thoroughly.
Deciding on some chores for them to do is very important.

The teacher's advice was very easy to understand, and since it was the bare minimum, I felt much more at ease and motivated to try again.

And I realized once again that I, too, must cherish each day and live with a calm heart for the sake of my children.