Please do not file a disclosure request for my heart. [Prose Poem]

Please stop.
Please do not file a disclosure request for my heart.

"I'll listen if you'd like."
"Talk to me."

That's not it.
Please do not intrude.

It's not that I'm being reserved.
Do not assume I will disclose everything.

If I show you my heart, you'll deny it, won't you?
You'll deny it,
criticize it,
try to one-up me,
and leave my heart in tatters, won't you?

I know it.

Because my parents and teachers were like that.
Even that girl who said, "We're best friends!"
was like that.

You are bound to be the same.

My worries,
my feelings,
my thoughts,
you'll crush them all, won't you?

Knowing that, where would I find someone
who would offer up their heart?
My precious, precious heart,
I won't show it so easily!

If you understand, then hurry up and go away.
You don't really care about someone like me anyway.
Please leave me alone.

I'm tired of hoping,
tired of saying "help me,"
and tired of running away.

So you, too, hurry up and go away.

Carrying my worries alone,
suffering alone,
and collapsing alone is easier.

Because that is surely safer.
I am already tired
of trusting others
and getting hurt.