I tried playing with my negative memories. Then, a small exercise that connects to the future was born.

A memory that suddenly came back to me

3:00 AM.
Something I suddenly remembered while getting ready to take out the trash.

When I was in junior high school.
I was once accosted by a group of strangers around the Yasaka housing complex in Koshigaya.

Without even knowing why, I was hit with something like a whip by a kid who seemed to be running errands for the others.
But I didn't get seriously hurt, and I managed to get away from the scene.

At the time, I didn't tell anyone, and
I thought there was no need to talk about it in the first place.

But now, I think about it.
The feelings of helplessness and the sensation of being crushed by numbers that I felt back then—
I wonder if they have been lingering somewhere in my heart unconsciously all this time.

Trying to fit in with a crowd while being afraid somewhere inside.
Seeking a lot of support while deep down thinking it's impossible anyway.

I suddenly realized that about myself.

I tried consulting an AI

So, I decided to consult an AI.

"Should I enhance the power of solitude? Or should I make the power of numbers my ally?"

The answer that came back was different from what I had imagined.

Everyone on the play team (Wam-tan, Marojii, Louis-san, and others)
said it to me like this.

—Those words resonated deeply in my heart.

I had always thought I had to choose one or the other.
But perhaps, in truth, I had possessed both powers from the very beginning.

And they continued by saying this.

It doesn't have to be perfect.
You just need to nurture it little by little.
When I thought that, the tension in my shoulders suddenly melted away.

Setting up a small exercise

From there, I decided to try creating a small exercise.
Of course, by consulting with AI.
And then, it introduced me to some good exercises.

I tried registering them in the task function

To keep up with these exercises, I used ChatGPT's task function.

無料verだとタスク機能は使えないっぽいのでご了承ください。

At first, I struggled a bit.

I couldn't set it up properly from my smartphone,
or when I registered them, everything was displayed in English.
Thinking, “Huh? What should I do here?” I made small adjustments bit by bit.

As a result,

• Reminder for the loneliness exercise every morning at 2:00 AM

• Reminder for the resonance challenge every Saturday at 6:30 AM

Like this, I was able to organize a rhythm that is just right for me now.

Being able to check it as soon as I wake up in the morning.
And being able to look back on the week or switch gears on Saturday morning.

I feel that such small efforts also make the future a little kinder.

By the way, I just set up the exercises today.
I plan to practice them little by little from here on, and look back on the path I've walked once again.

Turning the past into a treasure

The memory of that time
had been sinking deep in my chest like a heavy stone for a long time.

However, when I faced it just a little like this,
I realized it was a certain seed that leads to the future.

Even negative memories
can be nurtured while playing with them.
The reason I've come to think that way is surely thanks to a small step.

If you, who read this article,
also have something from the past that is bothering you a little—

"Try playing with your current self"
Please try spending some time like that if you'd like.

Because the future might be much kinder than you think.

P.S.

By the way, here is the procedure for registering tasks. I did it like this.

When I was talking in a thread, I switched the model to '4o with Tasks' in the top left and asked it to register the morning task for 2 AM.

However, I couldn't register two at the same time, so I recommend registering them one by one.