Three years after a falling out with my best friend whom I thought was my soulmate (Part 2)
I, who thought about that cheating jerk day and night, had Tanahara go with me to a shrine for severing ties.
The goal was to cut ties with the jerk. We went straight to a bar in Ebisu, and eventually drank in Koenji until the first train.
At that moment, we suddenly got into a fight. I had spent a lot of time with Tanahara, but it was our first fight.
He said, 'Cheating can't be helped. It's the fault of the person who got cheated on.'
Why would he say something like that now?
'I don't want to think of myself back then as being in the wrong. People's hearts change. That can't be helped. If the person who cheated isn't the bad guy this time or back then, I can't go on living. You know that, so why are you saying things like that?'
As I walked away, Tanahara called out to my back, saying something to the effect of, 'It's because there's a problem with the person who got cheated on.'
I didn't care. I left him there and went home.
I cried my eyes out while walking home. Tanahara was the person who understood me the most.
Maybe we spent too much time together.
My LINE kept pinging, but I ignored it, and when I got home,
I just sent 'I'm home' and blocked him.
They say you shouldn't go to a shrine for severing ties with someone, and it turned out to be true.
He was a soulmate, and I felt an incredible amount of sympathy for him. I still haven't met anyone else who could 'understand my feelings without us having to say anything' more than Tanahara. He was very special, and I realized that specialness early on. However, we never developed a romantic relationship. Facing Tanahara, who was like a mirror, often meant having my own unpleasant parts shown to me. We were complete opposites in appearance and weren't each other's type, which is why we didn't become a couple.
However, our ways of thinking were very similar. Of course, there were differences, but he was in a place very close to mine.
That final fight had a bad atmosphere... I was also incredibly furious, so I don't really regret that our ties were severed.
I thought that my soulmate Tanahara and I were meant to part ways.
Going back to the beginning, whenever 'Hadaka no Kokoro' (Naked Heart) would play, I would somehow skip it. I couldn't listen to it.
I watched 'WataNagi' and cried at the 'Hadaka no Kokoro' that played.
I wasn't crying because of the drama, but because it reminded me of Tanahara.
It's been about three years since we had our falling out. For the first time, I felt like I wanted to see Tanahara just a little bit.
I wonder... I think he was a soul member with whom I was meant to experience the challenges of this life together.
Even though we met in an era not so long ago when registering a mobile number was mandatory, when I looked for it now, the registration was gone. Three years ago, I had properly deleted everything.
Even after finishing WataNagi, I keep listening to 'Naked Heart' over and over again. Turning that day's drive into a memory.