The 'Lies About First Experiences' Told by Men of a Bygone Era—Deconstructing Their Common Threads and Psychological Structure

This is a story from a while ago. Although values have changed completely in the Reiwa era, there used to be a striking set of 'common threads' when men who had not yet had their first experience (so-called amateur virgins or virgins) would bluff about having 'done it'.

In this article, I would like to talk about the 'fake stories' they tended to tell, incorporating a bit of prejudice and logical psychological analysis.

Since I will be talking about somewhat adult topics with a biased perspective, please feel free to skip this if you are uncomfortable with it or disagree with my views.

Common Fake Stories

First, please take a look at the 'typical story' that I often heard back then.

What do you think? Within this short plot, their 'limitations' and 'desires' are condensed. Let's break it down into three common points (number of experiences, setting of the partner, and location) that reveal it as a lie.

Common Point 1: The number of experiences is 'only once' and the relationship ends immediately

Interestingly, their episodes always end after 'just one time.' Since they have no real experience, they likely subconsciously sense that if they were to repeat it, their lack of 'intimate technique' would give them away.

What is even more unnatural is that despite having been unable to build a relationship with a woman until then, they suddenly display a mysterious social skill to pull off a one-night stand. Even though they are supposedly so obsessed with sex, for some reason, it ends with 'I'm not in contact with her anymore (we broke up)' after just one time.

This is a limitation of imagination, unable to depict the reality of building a 'continuous human relationship'. By resetting the relationship immediately, they are escaping from the depiction of maintaining daily interactions and relationships.

Common Point 2: The partner is a 'convenient woman with troubles'

There are many settings where they met on social media or she took an interest in them, and a 'woman who seems to have a hard life and has troubles' often appears.

Here, their 'desire to be a savior' shines through. Because they lack overwhelming charm or confidence, they need a superior position of 'listening to a woman who is feeling weak' rather than an equal relationship. Perhaps the women they think they can 'get' as targets are those with troubles they don't know well.

However, when it comes to the act itself, they lack the confidence to lead, so it becomes a development where 'the partner is experienced and gently teaches me by sensing the mood.' The fact that the partner conveniently guides them without them having to move themselves highlights the unnaturalness of the setting, which is an extremely passive desire.

Common Point 3: The stage is a 'hotel'

Since it is not a relationship that is an extension of daily life, like a childhood friend or a female friend, the probability of a 'hotel' is high. If a dramatic setting like a hotel by the sea appears, it sounds even more like a lie.

In reality, a friend's apartment from a part-time job would sound more realistic, but the daily step of 'being invited to a female friend's room' is a miracle beyond their imagination. That is precisely why they have to rely on the stage device of 'a hotel, an extraordinary space' that can be solved with money and a system.

Summary: With the Help of Generative AI

The stories those men desperately patched together back then—false narratives clearly reveal the psychology of the storyteller. I had generative AI analyze that psychology (below).

Psychological and Structural Credibility (High)

The structure of these episodes aligns well with theories of human cognitive limitations and psychological defense mechanisms.

• Reliance on Media Schemas (Cognitive Frameworks): When humans talk about events they haven't experienced, they cannot fill in the blanks with their own imagination, so they unconsciously tend to borrow typical templates (schemas) from external knowledge (manga, adult videos, online anecdotes, etc.). Elements like 'a woman with worries' or 'a night at a hotel' perfectly match the convenient contexts that frequently appeared in media for men at the time, making them extremely realistic as a 'limit of imagination' that inexperienced people easily fall into.

• Self-Defense and Resolution of Cognitive Dissonance: To resolve the conflict between 'I have no experience (anxiety)' and 'I don't want to fail or get hurt (fear),' passive settings like 'the other person approached me' or 'the other person was experienced' are unconsciously chosen. As a defense mechanism to protect one's pride, this is a very natural movement psychologically.

Conclusion

In this day and age, not having experience is often viewed positively as being 'sincere' or 'having good risk management.' I think men who tell these kinds of 'vanity templates' have become an endangered species.

The reason they told me their lies was probably because, at the time, I looked like an 'easy mark' to them (someone who wouldn't question their convenient stories and would accept them). It's a shame. ...However, since these fake stories had the commonalities mentioned above, it was useful for protecting myself.

In other words, it was the key to finding sincere men (lol)