I want to tell you, 'You moved me'

When I find the light in someone, I want to tell them

I have a habit that I am half-exasperated with myself for having.

For a long time, whenever I am genuinely moved by something wonderful about a person, I simply cannot help but tell them directly.

If a book moves me, I write a letter to the author.

If I receive moving service at a shop, I express my gratitude.

If I am impressed by someone's work, I use all the words I can to tell them.

It has been almost like a spinal reflex for me for a long time.

The other day, I went to an open school day at a public junior high school.
That is because my son is scheduled to enter the special needs class there the year after next.

When I entered the classroom, the smile of one boy caught my eye first.

He went out of his way to pull out a chair for me when I entered late.
And he looked me in the eye and gave me a big smile.

Even during class, he kept smiling, looking back at his mother and looking at me.

What a charming smile, I was truly moved.

I instinctively wanted to tell his mother, "You have a wonderful child with a lovely smile."
But I wanted to tell her.

However, I couldn't say it on the spot.
I felt hesitant in front of the other children and their mothers.

I felt it wouldn't be right to speak to only one person.

So, I somehow managed to keep those words of emotion locked inside my heart.

On the way home, an indescribable feeling of discomfort remained.

"I couldn't convey that emotion..."
I regretted it for a long time.

The other person knows nothing.
They have no way of knowing that I was so moved.

But I saw that smile clearly.
And it has been burned into my eyes ever since.

Even though he will have already graduated by the year my son enters, it was a wonderful smile that made me think, "I want to send my son to this school."

It wasn't that I wanted to "praise" him

I used to think this:
"I like to praise people."

But lately, I feel that is a little different.

What I want to do is not "praise."

"That's amazing!"
"You're excellent!"
It is not that I want to evaluate them like that.

What I really want to convey is,
"What you have done has truly reached someone."
That is what I want to say.

Your values gave me a new perspective.
Your words pushed me forward.
Your smile saved me.

I want to return that to the person themselves.

Astrology and career consulting were the same

Come to think of it, astrology and career consulting were the same.

I don't want to encourage the person I'm consulting. I don't want to tell them, 'You are amazing.'

While listening to their story, there are moments when I realize that the actions and thoughts they take for granted have actually been helpful to someone else.

I want to return that fact to them. 'You have been influencing people in this way.'

When I tell them that, it's not rare for them to tear up. It's not because I praised them. It's because they are learning for the first time that their existence has been connected to someone else.

Encountering the word 'encouragement'

Recently, I reread 'The Courage to Be Disliked' for the first time in a while. Adlerian psychology states that it is important to 'encourage' rather than 'praise.' When I read that explanation, it made sense to me in a strange way. I didn't want to praise or evaluate the other person. I wanted to return the value they brought to someone else back to them, and 'encourage' them.

'Praise' is like a reward, but 'encouragement' is not. It becomes a power that continues to live within the person.

This habit will never be cured

Of course, it is up to the other person how they receive my words.

Some people are shy. Some are confused. Some brush it off lightly. Some even pretend not to hear.

That is fine. That is perfectly fine. I am already used to being looked at with bewilderment. Even so, I will probably continue to tell them. Because when I find a light so bright that it moves my heart, I cannot pretend it doesn't exist. 'I was moved by you.'

For me, it is far more unnatural to pass by without saying those words.

Everyone has a light they are unaware of themselves.

As an astrologer, I have put that light into words.
As a career consultant, I have discovered that light together with others.

And as a human being, when I find that light, I cannot help but return it to the person themselves.

This habit will probably never go away.
In that case, instead of trying to fix it, I will cherish and nurture it.

When I find someone's light, I return it to them.
I believe that is my own way of working.

I do not want to predict people's futures.
I simply want to find the light that even they have not yet noticed, and return it to them.