Wedding Speech

This is my third time giving a speech at a friend's wedding.

I have given a toast as a friend twice before, but this is my first time giving a speech as a representative of the friends.

He is an old friend, and he has been telling me for a long time, "When I get married, I want you to give the speech as the friend representative."

This year, that friend happily got married, and I was officially asked to give the speech as the friend representative.

Giving a speech as a friend representative at a wedding is surprisingly difficult.

To put it mildly, we are best friends and have spent a significant amount of time together, so I have plenty of episodes to share.

However, many of the memorable episodes are quite risky. The more punch an episode has, the less appropriate it often is for a wedding.

And another complication is that there is a high-profile business person among the friend's relatives.

For me, it is just a friend's wedding, and originally, I shouldn't have to worry about it at all, but I can't help but be concerned.

Since I had been aware of the possibility of giving a speech for a long time, I was able to quickly pick out a few episodes I wanted to use as a core.

However, as I thought about the story, the episodes and elements I wanted to convey kept increasing.
I want to include elements that will get each table excited.
I also want to mention his parents. I even want to put a spotlight on that high-profile person.

As I went back and forth, the direction of the speech kept changing from what I had originally imagined.

If I'm not careful, I'll lose sight of the purpose.
I tend to want to be seen as funny, and I almost start aiming purely for laughs.

No, no, don't try to be the star.
That said, a speech without any humor is boring.

But it's meaningless unless the humor highlights the star of the show.

The direction I finally arrived at is,

To contribute to the bride and groom's relationship being better and lasting longer.

It may seem like a grand theme, but there are three things I can do in a speech as a friend representative.

1. Convey the groom's character
When you get married, it's no longer just a relationship between two people. You gain each other's families, relatives, friends, and more people involved. I think whether this "secondary connection" goes well is an incredibly important factor in married life.
That is why I want to clearly convey the groom's character to the bride's side.
I want them to feel reassured that he is a trustworthy person, and at the same time, I want to lower their expectations in advance by showing that he is not a perfect human being.
If I'm being greedy, I want to provide episodes that will become common topics for the future.

2. Mindset for married life
Married life really has all sorts of things. Things you can't even imagine will happen.
You won't always be on good terms. You will definitely feel a sense of discomfort. That is why, as someone with experience in married life, I want to pass on what I can about "what to do in such times." It is pure, unsolicited advice: "Please step over my dead body."

3. Being a friend to be proud of
It may be self-serving, but a friend representative speech at a wedding is a "friend to be proud of" slot.

"A person's ability is the average of the abilities of the five people around them."There is a saying like that.

If the quality of the friend representative's speech is mediocre, it will, to some extent, affect the credibility of the groom, who is the star.

By the way, it is perfectly fine for a bride's friend representative to be a mess.

But that is because they are a "woman."

"Deep affection" is expected of a "woman."
If the bride's friend representative is a person overflowing with affection who cries and chokes up while speaking earnestly, surely the bride will also be felt to have the same "deep affection."

However, it is different for a "man."
What is expected of a "man" is "ability."
Does he have the ability to earn a solid living and provide for his family?
Does he have the ability to protect his family?

That is why, if it is a wonderful speech, the groom's evaluation will also rise.
Therefore, I must not fail. I have no choice but to succeed.

I took that so seriously, in a way that wasn't like me, and rewrote my speech draft over and over.

When you search for "best man speech" on YouTube, there are so many great gimmicks, like pulling out an absurdly long scroll, or accidentally reading the wrong draft. (I like the guy who plays the harmonica.)

However, this time I decided not to rely on any gimmicks.

The person who thought of them first is brilliant, but a second-rate imitation shows no talent. And I wanted the humor to highlight the groom.
I didn't want the laughter to be for my own sake; I wanted to focus entirely on laughter for the groom.

I didn't want the laughter to be for my own sake; I wanted to focus entirely on laughter for the groom.

Since I wasn't using gimmicks, I refined the draft. I checked the demographics and number of guests, as well as the timing of the friend speeches, and adjusted the draft even further.

In the end, it became a 10-minute speech that centered on mischievous episodes of my friend from our student days to the present, touched on his physical strength, mental fortitude, and kindness, included foreshadowing and callbacks, mentioned his wife's alma mater, and even incorporated the corporate philosophy of the company he works for. *By the way, after much thought, I decided not to mention the VIPs at all.

Looking at the completed draft, I thought to myself: This is a case of "the schemer being hoisted by his own petard." If I fail, it will be the most embarrassing thing ever and will lower my friend's reputation. Panicked, just before the wedding, I finally cut into my work time, cut into my sleep, and while my wife was pregnant and suffering from morning sickness, I snuck away to go to karaoke by myself and practiced.

On the day, the venue felt large for the number of people present.

And perhaps because of the presence of the VIPs, the atmosphere among the people involved was heavy.

In the midst of that, the friend representative speeches began. First was the bride's friend representative speech. She spoke the content she had memorized with all her might, but she stumbled over her words. Then, looking at the letter she was holding, she wove her words together. That appearance created a moving moment.

As for me, I fell into a state where my brain wasn't functioning at all due to nervousness. The speech ended, it became my turn, and my name was called.

Still, I felt I had prepared without compromise.

There was nothing left to do but go for it. It would work out somehow. With that feeling, I took the microphone.

As a result, I was able to speak more smoothly and in the order of the topics I had prepared than I had even imagined. Although it was a long 10-minute speech, helped by the heckling from the venue, I felt that I was able to generate genuine laughter and convey the groom's character.

When the speech ended, the aforementioned VIP came straight to my seat and praised me, saying it was a wonderful speech. Then, he poured me some white wine. I was very happy.

I wanted to tell my wife so badly that the speech had been a success that I even sent her a LINE message.

And above all, the groom was truly happy.

However, the thing that actually made me happiest was when one of the bride's friends said to me at the third party, "I had never met him before, but I really understood his character."

To gain something, you have to give something up.

I'm really glad I sacrificed so much and practiced for this. Haha.

Lastly,
Back in my student days, I wasn't exactly serious, and I had no interest in studies, academic background, famous companies, or career advancement. It was only later that I, the person I was, started to become interested in people who work seriously as business professionals and achieve results.

The catalyst for that, in fact, was that big shot.

I happened to have the chance to see that person's bookshelf.
That person is of my parents' generation, but on their bookshelf, in addition to many business books, there were art books and even TOEIC study books.

I had thought that TOEIC was something only students studied, so I was genuinely surprised that someone of that generation was 'still studying.'

The thing is, there wasn't a proper bookshelf in my house, and the only books my father, who is the same generation as that big shot, owned were motorcycle magazines.
※I respect my father very much, by the way.

And so, I learned that 'great people keep on studying.'

About 10 years later, that person made even greater leaps and is now well-known in the business world.

I'm nowhere near their level, but I, too, am working seriously now. There is no doubt that the person I am today is, albeit indirectly, thanks to that big shot.

Since I was able to meet such a person directly and receive praise, it's only natural that I'm happy.

Someday, if the opportunity arises, I feel like I want to tell them this story, yet I also feel like keeping it a secret.

I highly doubt that such a self-indulgent piece of writing is interesting for anyone to read, but I wrote it down to organize and preserve my own emotions.

Self-disclosure is embarrassing, but it feels good to write it down.

It's also nice and relaxing that almost no one is looking at it.

That's right, lastly,

Recently, women take too many videos and photos with their smartphones during ceremonies.
Don't they need to watch it directly? I wonder.
And above all, they aren't clapping when they should be clapping.

I tried to make up for that by clapping with all my might, and for the first time, I felt tired from clapping.

To many women in the world,
Keep the photos to a moderate amount, and enjoy the 'now' of the moment—it's fun to get excited too!