Living Like Dancing (The Courage to Be Disliked / Adlerian Psychology #QuoteNote100)

The quote I would like to introduce this time is here!

This is a phrase from the famous self-help book, "The Courage to Be Disliked: The Teachings of Adler, the Origin of Self-Help".

It is the final message given to a young man by a philosopher who teaches Adlerian psychology, serving as a summary of "The Courage to Be Disliked." It is also the title of the final chapter of the book.

To summarize it simply, it means, "Life is not a race to compete with others, but something to be lived in the 'here and now.'"

Live like you are dancing

The expression "live like you are dancing" in "The Courage to Be Disliked" very effectively represents the aspect of life as a process advocated by Adlerian psychology.

This likens life not to a journey toward a fixed destination, but to a dance where you choose and create in every single moment.

The philosopher says there is no goal, but strictly speaking, I interpret this as him wanting to convey that 'the dance itself, or enjoying the present by dancing' is the goal.

Whenever I think of the phrase "live like you are dancing" in "The Courage to Be Disliked," I always remember Renoir's "Bal du moulin de la Galette".

It is not a dance performed seriously at a recital, but the sight of everyone having fun together is very impressive. It is a piece that intuitively makes you understand that whether you are good or bad at dancing is not important, but that 'the attitude of wanting to enjoy this moment' is what is truly important.

Matisse's "Dance", Lautrec's "Moulin Rouge: La Goulue", and other artists often use dance as a subject, don't they?

You can dance with anyone.

You can even dance alone if you want.

What matters is living in the 'here and now' and enjoying it to the fullest.

A story of a young man growing through dialogue

"The Courage to Be Disliked" is structured as a dialogue between a philosopher and a young man.

The dialogue between the philosopher and the young man begins with "how to perceive trauma." It concludes with the idea of "living like you are dancing." This is the structure of the book.

No matter which chapter you read, you will find insights each time. In fact, there is no problem at all if you don't read it from start to finish, but rather open it to a random page and start reading from a part that interests you. The important thing is to gain "awareness."

◆ Denial of "Trauma"

It denies the "etiology" that past events determine who we are today, and proposes a "teleology" that suggests people live with a "purpose."

◆ "All problems are interpersonal relationship problems"

It considers that most human problems stem from interpersonal relationships and provides solutions for them.

◆ "Separation of tasks"

It teaches that by clearly distinguishing between one's own tasks and the tasks of others, not intervening in others' tasks, and not letting others intervene in one's own, one can build healthy human relationships.

◆ "Self-acceptance," "Confidence in others," and "Contribution to others"

As necessary elements for living a happy life, it lists "self-acceptance" (accepting oneself as one is), "confidence in others" (trusting others unconditionally), and "contribution to others" (contributing to others within a community).

◆ Living "here and now" seriously

It emphasizes the importance of focusing on the present moment without being trapped by the past or the future. This is the chapter where the value of "living like you are dancing" is introduced.

Easy to read despite being a philosophy book

"The Courage to Be Disliked" introduces the philosophy of Adler, one of the three great masters of psychology alongside Freud and Jung, in a way that is easy for beginners to understand. The structure is also very simple and easy to read.

The only characters are a young man and a philosopher. Because the story proceeds in a narrative format where a troubled young man visits a philosopher (the sage) and gradually deepens his understanding while rebelling against the philosopher's words based on Adlerian psychology, the reader can learn along with the young man.

1. A young man filled with questions and anger knocks on the door of the philosopher's (the sage's) study

2. The philosopher welcomes the young man, and the dialogue begins

3. Through the dialogue, the young man's values change just a little

4. The young man, having gained new insights, sets off on his own path

5. The young man harbors new questions and anger based on his new realizations

6. On another day, the young man knocks on the door of the philosopher's study

These sections 1 through 4 form a single chapter. The structure is designed so that by repeating this cycle, the dialogue between the philosopher and the young man becomes increasingly profound.

If you imagine it like a play set in a philosopher's study with only two characters—the philosopher and the young man—you might be able to visualize it. Since there isn't much movement, it feels more like a comedy sketch to me due to the speed of the conversation, though there are no comedic elements.

Although it is a self-help book, its essence is that of a 'philosophical text,' so it discusses many fundamental truths that are not swayed by the times. You will find new insights whenever you re-read it, and since it is very easy to read, it is enjoyable to progress through it as if it were a novel. I believe it is a masterpiece that you would never regret having on your bookshelf.

📢 Announcement

Thank you for reading until the end. 'Likes' Likes and 'follows' Follows are very welcome! They encourage my activities on Note!

Click here for my self-introduction and main topics! ▼

Click here for the list of quote notes! ▼

I also dream of publishing a book someday! ▼