My first-grade daughter who refuses to go to school gets surrounded by a group of children

Today is the day my daughter goes to school just for lunch.
She stays at school for about two hours, does things she likes with a teacher in the counseling room, and eats lunch.

When the time comes, Mom goes to pick her up.

Passing by the school building, I see and hear the students cleaning up after lunch.

Just that alone makes my heart rate go up.
(I guess I'm still a school refuser myself, aren't I...)

Next month, I will not be extending my current sick leave and will be resigning from my job.

I would like mothers of children who refuse to go to school to not quit their jobs if possible.
Children are important, but a mother's connection to society is also important.

Since my child is in the lower grades, I have continued to be on leave to also take care of her.

Returning to a full-time job while thinking about my little school-refusing child in the corner of my mind is...
I've decided that it's impossible for me right now⛅

And pretending to be sick to extend my sick leave just doesn't feel right!

Because I want to get better too🌞!
Even if it's part-time, half-days, or once a week!
Even if it's just a little bit, even if it's thin,I want to have a connection with society!

So, this is a resignation based on a positive feeling (lol)

Let's go, Mom, to the next stage!

But even though I say it's a part-time job, I haven't worked for half a year! 💦

When I think about that, the thought of going back to the workplace makes me nervous.

I'm sure that's similar to how a child who refuses to go to school feels when they go to school.
If anything, my child probably has to fight an anxiety that is many times greater than my own nervousness.

As I was thinking about that while going to pick her up at the entrance, my daughter happened to be coming down the stairs.

(She looks so cute walking with her school bag on her back ♡)

A mom of a child who refuses to go to school, savoring that feeling and feeling a flutter in her heart more than three months after enrollment (lol)

As I was receiving a report on today's situation from the counselor, the children all rushed out to the schoolyard for their lunch break.

?? Where did my daughter go??

That's not where I parked the car~.

My daughter realized it and came back.

"Ahhh! It's [Name]!!"
"Why haven't you been coming to school at all?!"
"I'm going to go call the homeroom teacher!!" (No, no, it's okay~)

My daughter freezes, surrounded by children from her class.

She keeps her mouth set in a straight line like a stone.
Are you a stone statue? Although only your feet are moving quickly.

A child who didn't recognize her face flipped over her name tag,
"It's true! It's [Name] from our class! Why haven't you been coming for so long?"

Since the stone statue isn't talking, Mom answers.
"She comes by every now and then. She even eats lunch in a secret room. Please be nice to her if you see her again!"

After the stone statue pulled my hand and we managed to shake off the group of kids...

"Ahhh, that was so surprising!!"

My daughter says in a deep, gruff voice. (What's with that gap, lol)

"Isn't it like that? Like a rare character? Like a secret kind of thing?"

"No way, that was way too many people! I was totally surrounded! Why do they even know who I am?!"

"The kid earlier said you were in the same kindergarten, didn't they? You've never seen them?"

"I don't know them!"

"If they know you, but you don't know them, that means... Daughter, you might be an idol!? Like a rare character that brings good luck if you meet them."

"What is that!? No way, that's not it!!"

(Why is this child refusing to go to school again?) 😂

(Am I really talking to a first-grader?)

"Well, being surrounded like this will probably stop after a time or two."

After all, there are 200 shades of school refusal in this world.
There are even school-refusing kids like this (lol).

My relatives in the countryside
seem to say, "If you just force her to go to school and leave her there, it'll work out somehow," but...

That probably won't work for this child.

(I made my son try that for a week, and it only deepened his wounds. Either way, I won't do it!)

A little bit from now on.

For my children who are living in the present,

[Things they love, and sometimes, school]

I think I will try to live by staying close to that for a little while.

And I, as a mother,

[Things I love, and sometimes, connection with society]

I think I will try to live by cherishing that.

🔽 A grateful article by Ryo-yan that came down to our home like this 🙌
So grateful, so grateful.