What We Learn from Nitpicking

The other day, I encountered a situation where someone was "nitpicking" for the first time in a while.

A person found a small mistake and was talking about it loudly enough for those around them to hear.

However, that mistake was not a significant one.

It was just that an item had been placed in the wrong spot.

That was all it was.

Of course, if it were a matter of safety or a situation where failing to follow established procedures could lead to an accident, that would be a different story.

In such a case, it is necessary to explain the reason and provide guidance to prevent a recurrence.

Rules have a "reason for being followed," and there is meaning in communicating that.

However, in a case like this one,

"Hey, this was in the wrong place."

"I went ahead and fixed it."

Wouldn't that be enough?

The work would move forward, and the other person would be inclined to be more careful next time.

Beyond that,

"That person is incompetent."

"They can't even do this."

I didn't see much point in saying things like that where others could hear.

If the goal is improvement, there is no need to talk about it in front of others more than necessary.

In fact, that behavior can sometimes be perceived as showing off to those around them that "I am the one who noticed."

Why react to that extent?

At first, I was just puzzled.

"Why would they go that far?"

As I thought about it, an answer occurred to me.

Perhaps that rule is very important to that person.

Maybe they had a difficult experience with something similar in the past.

That is why they react strongly even to small things.

When I think of it that way, I can understand the reason for their behavior a little better.

Of course, understanding is not the same as agreeing.

I do not believe that a way of communicating that blames people more than necessary is good.

Even so, when I try to accept that "that person must have their own reasons," my frustration strangely diminishes a little.

What you can change is how you take things

It is not easy to change others.

That is precisely why I think it is more important to choose how you take things.

Instead of reacting directly to the other person's words,

"This must be an important rule for this person."

Just by thinking that, you become less likely to be swayed by your emotions.

And when I find myself in the opposite position, I want to remember this.

When I find a small mistake, is it really necessary to point it out loudly in front of others?

Or is it better to tell them quietly, fix it if necessary, and move the work forward?

There will surely continue to be people who nitpick.

That is why, rather than trying to change that person, I want to value what kind of person I am when I communicate.

Not someone who blames others for small mistakes, but someone who can quietly resolve them.

That is the kind of person I want to be.