[Worry Diary] The inner struggle of not being able to invite friends casually

Can you all casually invite your friends out for a meal?

I can't.

Around yesterday evening, I suddenly felt like eating yakiniku.

Tomorrow is the middle of a three-day weekend, and the day after is also a holiday, so it's perfect. Choosing a restaurant is a hassle, so I'll just go with Gyu-Kaku to be safe.

Since I'm at it, I'd like to invite someone and go as a group of two or three. But who should I invite?

Someone who might be free if I contact them the day before. There is one person. If I ask that one person, maybe I can reel in a few others too.

Thinking about that, I opened that person's LINE. But here, my hand stopped.

Wait. I want to invite that person, but would they actually want to eat with me?

I want to invite them because they are fun to be around. But I don't have the confidence to make it fun for them.

If they are invited, it's hard to say no, so I'd end up making them come even if they had to push themselves a bit.

...Alright, let's stop. I'll go alone.

However, the world is harsh on solo diners...
The restaurant's reservation screen says, 'Please inquire for reservations of 1 person or 19 or more people.'

If I'm alone, I have to call. If there are two people, I can just book online. I felt like I was being strongly pushed to invite someone.

And once again, I repeat the internal monologue of 'should I invite them / no, I'd better not' from above.

After worrying about it again, I decided to go alone after all. Because inviting someone is selfish, right?

Calling was a hassle, so I thought I'd do it today, and I just went to sleep yesterday.

And then today arrived. I want to make the reservation call, but... I still have the urge to invite someone.

I repeat the monologue from above yet again (lol).
'I want to invite that person. But it would surely be a nuisance if they were invited. It wouldn't be that fun for them to be with me anyway. Maybe they are in the mood to spend the day relaxing at home. Do I have the confidence to provide a time worth the effort of making them come out? -> No. Then it's more comfortable to enjoy it alone.'

The conclusion remains unchanged after all.

As a result, I made a reservation for one, and I just finished enjoying a solo yakiniku meal safely!

Are there any other people like me who hesitate to invite others out?

Some might say I'm overthinking it.
Or that my self-esteem is too low and I should work on raising it.

I know that, though.
I know it myself, but I just can't help but hesitate.

Personally, I don't dislike being alone, so I've reached a point where I think, 'Well, that's fine.'

I'm not posting this expecting any comfort,
but I decided to lay my feelings bare, hoping that it might resonate with someone else who thinks and worries just like I do, and that they might find a sense of camaraderie and feel even just a millimeter better.
Thank you for reading until the end again today☆

Thank you for reading until the end again today☆