The 'Hard Days of Parenting' My Past Self Taught Me Were Actually 'Sparkling Days'

For years now, I have been keeping a brief daily record, though it is not quite a diary.

The tools vary, from handwritten notes in paper planners to note-taking apps on my computer.

I rarely look back at them, but
I happened to come across those records just recently,
and memories of when my children were small came flooding back.

For example, things like this.

Such truly trivial daily occurrences.

My children are brothers with a nine-year age gap.

So,
while following up on Wan-ta's middle school entrance exam preparations, I was also potty training Tsu-ta,

living a life where I had to take care of two children with
completely different life patterns, interests, and parental involvement needs.

I myself was much younger than I am now, full of curiosity and energy.
On the other hand, my worries were deep, and my emotional ups and downs were much more intense than they are now.

Amidst all that, a record of my struggles with parenting remained.

• When the children got sick and I had to rush them to the hospital by taxi,
  

• when I got a call from school and had to go pick them up suddenly,
  

• when I managed to carry a sleeping Tsu-ta from the stroller to the living room without waking him and did a victory pose at the thought of having some time to myself,
  

• when I returned late from an outing and missed Wan-ta, who didn't have his house key, and spent time anxiously searching the neighborhood for him,
  

• when I had to carry a screaming Tsu-ta home, drenched in sweat, because he didn't want to leave the park even after it got dark in the evening,
  

• when I was nervous about whether a toddler-walking Tsu-ta would behave while I went to Wan-ta's school PTA activities.

These are things that surely every parenting mom experiences, but
the days I spent managing both children every day were truly tough.

But looking back, I think it was fulfilling and fun.

For me, these are truly irreplaceable memories of parenting.
And I feel like I want to praise my past self.

At the same time, right now.

I think that even in this moment in 2024, I will probably look back on it in the future and say, 'Those were the days...'

After the children have left the nest?
When they get married?

I don't know when I'll look back on 'now,' but when I do, I want to be able to say,
“

Those days were fulfilling and fun”

I really want to be able to say that.

And so, to be able to say that,

/
I want to cherish this time right now and live it to the fullest
\

I felt that once again.

Now, more than ten years later.

• They don't put their muddy sports uniforms in the laundry,

• No matter how many times I tell them, they don't wash their own lunch boxes,

• They don't study for tests,

• I can't tell if they're thinking about their future or not,

Even now, I'm still being pushed around by my children, and sometimes I feel anxious or angry, but that's surely something I can only experience right now, isn't it?

Whatever state 'now' is in, and however I'm feeling, even if it's something difficult, it might actually be a shining, brilliant time.

I feel like my past self taught me that.

I would be happy if this could be a hint for someone today as well.

<Notice>

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