Don't rush, don't rush. Take a break, take a break.
It has been about 11 months since I went on medical leave for depression.
Finally, my return-to-work program has begun.
That said, for now, it just means going to the office three times a week and staying for two hours.
It is a complete trial period.
There is no commuting allowance, and there is no compensation if I get injured during the program.
In the case of my workplace's return-to-work program, the initial stage focuses on two points: commuting training and getting used to being in the workplace.
Yesterday was the first day of the program, and I went right away.
First, there was a meeting with my supervisor.
“Yuni-san. You don't need to rush. You are still on leave, so don't try to work. First, it is important to get used to commuting and being in the office. If you just space out, no one will complain. Or rather, I won't let them.”
As expected of my supervisor.
They know me well and gave me advice in advance.
It seems they also informed the office in advance that I would be joining the return-to-work program, so my colleagues are also telling me, “Don't rush” and “Don't overdo it.”
I am grateful for the meticulous care they are taking regarding my return-to-work program.
So, I must make sure not to overdo it myself.
Even though I think that, perhaps because it is an environment where I can work, my brain suddenly starts working and I find myself thinking about this and that.
“It will be September soon, so I need to check the budget execution status.”
“I wonder how this process is going right now.”
When I looked through documents and data in the office, I was mistaken for working intensely and ended up worrying people. I felt bad for making those around me anxious, so I just looked at the documents at hand to pass the time.
Before I knew it, it was almost time to leave.
Fast. Time flies by in an instant!
My supervisor called out to me, “It's five minutes before you finish,” so I hurriedly tidied up my desk and left the office on time.
On the train home, I thought about what went well and what I need to reflect on.
Things that went well
I was able to go to the office
I didn't get discouraged on the commuter train
I was able to greet everyone cheerfully
I was able to stay for two hours
I was able to concentrate
Points for reflection
I felt impatient and almost started working
I kept going for two hours straight and didn't take a break
When I got back, the tension I had been holding onto eased, and I felt tired.
I didn't think I had shifted into high gear, but it seems I was more wound up than I imagined. This is not good. I need to correct my course.
The goal of the return-to-work program is not to make me work right now, but for me to recover to a level where I can work. My boss has gone to the trouble of setting up this environment for me, and I felt once again that I must not misunderstand the purpose.
My naturally impatient personality came out strongly.
"Don't rush, don't rush. Take a break, take a break."
Impatience is forbidden.
The run-up to returning to work has only just begun.
#66DayWritingChallenge
