To the me who was struggling with writing back then
Thank you for coming to read this.
In this note, I will freely share things I like, my daily life, and my inner thoughts, with gratitude as the central theme.
I aim for this note to be a place where everyone who visits can feel at ease.
Please relax and enjoy your time here.
Around the time I had been doing note for two weeks, I wrote an article like this.
While looking back on that time, I will write about my current situation.
This is an article where I collaborate with my past self.
How can I turn what I want to write into text that conveys my message to others?
Even now, two months after starting note, I am still thinking about this.
I suppose this is a thought that will stay with me as long as I continue writing on note.
The more I am conscious of the reader, the more this thought goes in circles even now.
However, lately, I have come to believe that the possibility of my message being conveyed perfectly is low.
So, if it gets across generally, that's good enough, and what to do with that is up to the reader, so the hurdle for posting might be lower than it was back then.
To resolve my confusion, I read articles on note and Kindle books that contained skills and techniques for writing.
When I tried putting what was written in them into practice, I certainly ended up with decent writing. I could also cover the issue of expressive power a little.
But, it felt like it wasn't like me, or rather, I sometimes felt it was a little different from what I wanted to write.
I can't explain it well, but it felt pretentious, or perhaps like I was trying too hard to look cool.
Even now, I study how to write through books.
However, I don't read much about technical things anymore.
I think that comes from getting used to posting on note.
I might be able to show more of my true self now compared to back then.
Or rather, I've resigned myself to the fact that "whatever I write is me."
I might be pretentious, and there might be some affected writing, but I feel like I've become able to honestly express what I want to write.
・When I focus on conveying something, my feelings are too strong and it becomes difficult to read all at once.
・When I tidy up the format, it becomes easier to read, but I feel like the message I want to convey gets diluted.
When I post an article, I always have this kind of conflict.
I think "having strong feelings" is a characteristic of mine lately.
I am considering how to resolve the difficulty in reading, but I want to convey my feelings.
And now that I have friends who accept my feelings, I have decided to allow myself to convey them honestly.
Also, even when I tidy up the format, the message I want to convey no longer gets diluted.
In that sense, I might have grown since back then.
I always have conflicts, but lately I've been posting with a sense of resignation.
Unfortunately, I have never once thought, "I wrote that well!"
But it is not me who decides whether it is good or bad, or whether it is interesting.
It is the people who read it.
What I lack now to continue writing as I wish in the future:
・Writing ability
・Vocabulary
・Composition skills
・Expressive power
It seems I have no choice but to steadily polish these.
I will say it clearly.
Even now, I still lack these skills.
So, I still feel the need for input.
However, there is something that has changed compared to back then.
A clear increase in the amount of reading.
An attitude of trying to absorb expressions I don't have.
Acknowledging the current situation, that is, my current abilities.
Not seeking perfection.
To enjoy writing, I must acknowledge myself and continue to grow.
Believing that one day, it will become my strength.
I will do what I can today so that I can continue writing for a long time and enjoy it.
Looking back at the past, I was able to feel a slight sense of growth.
It might be hard to feel that way when you are just posting regularly, but it might be good to look back at the past once in a while and compare it to the present.
By the way, I came up with this article after reading Nanako Shima's article.
Nanako-san, thank you for giving me such a great opportunity.
And to everyone who has read this far, thank you very much.
#66DayWritingChallenge This is my 35th day of participation.
