When I Was Afraid of Little People

<The Creature That Is Me... Vol. 2>

There are three memories deeply etched into my mind from when I was three years old.

“Being afraid of little people when going to sleep every night,”
“The first lucid dream I ever had,”
“The dream where the elevator doors opened and I fell.”

All of them are related to “dreams.”
Back then, I didn't know what a “dream” was.
They remain in my memory even now as truly mysterious experiences.

When I was three, I was very afraid of going to sleep.
That was because every night when I went to bed, little people would appear around my futon.

My younger sister had just been born, and I was told to go to sleep alone first, but
I remember demanding of my mother, “I don't want to because the little people come out. Sleep with me.”

Sometimes my mother would sleep with me, and sometimes she wouldn't, but
even when she was with me, the little people would appear suddenly without warning.

When I closed my eyes to sleep, I would hear a faint, bustling sound of voices,
and when I opened my eyes, many small black silhouettes would be circling around my futon,
walking in a line.

(Wow!... I'm too scared to make a sound...)

They would even walk over my forehead while I was lying there. (Whoa, whoa, whoa... shivering...)
The little people held sharp tools like those used at construction sites in their hands,
and it was very scary. (Disappear... disappear... please disappear quickly...)

I would squeeze my eyes shut and desperately endure the situation, praying for them to vanish.

For my three-year-old self, this time for sleeping was a battle of fear and agony.

Until quite recently, I had perceived it as a real event.
Without a shred of doubt.

Even halfway through my life, it remained a real, mysterious experience within me.

During a counseling session at one point, I was talking about it and suddenly realized, 'Ah!'

That's right! At that time, I couldn't move my body!
I couldn't make a sound even if I wanted to, and I was desperately screaming for help in my heart!
Ah, it's the same sensation. It was sleep paralysis...

My first experience of sleep paralysis?!

I had experienced sleep paralysis when I was three years old...