Trusting and Being Trusted [Revisited]

I felt like posting again...

Attitude (what is visible)

Words and actions (what is said and done)

Way of speaking (how it is conveyed)

Things like these
are being sent to the other person.

Even if you do not intend to send them,
they are being sent outward.

What you are sending to the other person
is not just the words or their meaning.

~From the postscript~

I have been sharing my thoughts
on trust and relationships of trust.

Building a relationship of trust.
What does it mean to trust?
Also, what does it mean to trust and be trusted?

I would be happy if we could think about deepening this together♪

(There are about 3800 characters)

Relationship of trust

While we do not do this with everyone, there are times when we think,
I want to build a relationship with this person.

Everyone likely observes the other person
and considers whether they can be trusted.

We rarely place trust in someone we have just met.
What kind of person are they?

I believe we judge trust by looking at a person's character and who they are.
We judge trust based on that.

Are there people around you whom you can trust?

Why do you think you can trust that person?

What kind of person feels trustworthy to you?

Conversely, by doing those things yourself,

you yourself become a trustworthy person!

Isn't that what it's all about?

You have an image of a trustworthy person within yourself.
You might also be able to express it in words, like saying someone is 'like this'.

If so, you should treat yourself the same way,
and give the same things to others.

I think you should
carry out those attitudes and actions yourself.

Relationships are mutual, you know♪

It's not something where
only the other person does it,
or only you do it.

I think it is also important to strive
to become a person who is trusted, just as you would expect from others.

Instead of just demanding it from others,
it would be good to reflect on your own attitude.

Try becoming that kind of trustworthy person♪

People tend to want to talk only about others.
They want to try to change others.
They want to make things easy for themselves right away.

Is there anything I can do?
What can I do?

I often forget to think about
what I can do.

I often complain about others, saying this and that,
blaming someone or the world,
telling them to do this or that,
while ignoring my own shortcomings.

Becoming a person who earns trust✨

I believe that is the shortest path
to building a relationship of trust♪

Even if a relationship cannot be built,
if I have been able to trust myself,
even if I feel sad,
I likely won't fall into deep despair.
I probably won't blame myself
or blame the other person.

With the same mindset,
to be a stable version of myself,
I will build that kind of self.

Trusting myself✨

Can you trust someone
who does not trust themselves?

When you try to trust someone,
what kind of situation is it?

Someone who does not trust themselves
can seem somewhat insecure or weak,
or conversely, they may seem to be putting on a brave front,
giving off an air of being evasive.
They give the impression that they cannot take responsibility for themselves...

Therefore, when placing trust in them,
I wonder, will they really be okay?
I feel anxiety and worry. I hesitate.

If they seem weak,
I worry about pressure or them getting discouraged.
If they seem to be putting on a brave front,
I worry about them shifting blame or polarizing things.

I worry about whether they can truly
view things in line with reality and facts.

Is it okay to trust them...?

When you try to trust someone,
based on that,

understanding such things,
it is likely when you try to accept them.

Accepting them as they are, including all that,
supporting them,
and taking on what is lacking,
I think that is the attitude of support.

You are taking on that event within yourself.
That attitude can be said to be an attitude of trusting yourself.

That is,
understanding that you will be a source of strength for the other person,
sharing failures and worries, wishing for and believing in their growth,
and it can be said to be an attitude of trying to trust the other person.

When that can be felt mutually,
a relationship of trust is born there✨

Isn't that how it is?

When challenging something new,
or when something is still new and you lack confidence,
or when you feel you are not good at something,
everyone lacks confidence in themselves.

At such times,
It's okay if you fail!if you can havea sense of security
within yourself,you might be able to face it a little,
and think that it might be okay to give it a try.

Also, if you can think that it's okay to fail!and feel that the environment
is watching over you, saying 'I accept you!',
you can feel a sense of security,and you might be able to face it a little,
and be able to try it.

For people who do not trust themselves,
or when you lack confidence,

being able to think that it is okay to fail,
and feeling that you are accepted.

The sense of being able to believe in yourself and the sense of being protected by your environment

feeling that is likely important.

When people lack confidence, they put on a facade.

In a sense, it is natural to do so.
People do not want to feel miserable or ashamed.

However,
putting on a facade is the same as deceiving yourself.
Because you are hiding your true self,
you become unable to trust yourself.

To deceive yourself means, in other words,
that you are trying not to see yourself as you are.

When you are not being yourself,
you feel a sense of discomfort even with yourself.
Something feels off and out of sync.
Eventually, both your mind and body become unbalanced
and stop functioning well.

It could be said that this iswhat makes you realize
that you are not being yourself.

So, one might tend to think
that you should force yourself to deny what you feelin order to stop putting on a facade,
but that is not what it means.

After all, we are human.
Sometimes we do put on a facade.

It is not that people who do not put on a facade
are the ones who trust themselves,

but there are people who can trust themselves
even while putting on a facade.

What is the difference?

It is
someone who knows
that they are putting on a facade.

Someone who can honestly acknowledge and accept themselves.
That is what it means.

They are aware of the "self they perceive."

They can see themselves objectively.
They are practicing metacognition.
That is what it means.

That is what it means to accept yourself
as you are,
without any deception.

The version of yourself that is positive
is not the only version of your true self.

Being able to recognize the "perceived self" that exists right now
is what it means to beyour true self.is.

Self-congruence✨

Self-congruence is
an important attitude for building relationships.

When there is no self-congruence,
you feel a sense of discomfort both within yourself and with others.

Whether building a relationship with someone else,
or building a relationship with yourself,
it is indispensable.

This is because it is an attitude that
can be trusted by both others and yourself.

When you are self-congruent,
a sense of security is born✨

Attitude (what is visible)

Words and actions (what is said and done)

Way of speaking (how you convey things)

Things like these
are being sent to the other person.

Even if you do not intend to send them,
they are being sent outward.

What you send to others is
not just the words or their literal meanings.

A great deal of information is being conveyed
from you to others and those around you.

You, too, are receiving various information from others,
synthesizing it, and making judgments.

Therefore, the discomfort of not being self-congruent
is unstable because your words do not match your actions or attitude,
and it is being sent outward and is visible.

Not being self-congruent
means being out of balance, and that instability
causes those around you to be confused about how to handle it,
and the instability is transmitted.

Even if your expression is smiling, feeling that your eyes are not,
saying you are fine while wearing a gloomy face,
or getting irritated easily,
things that cannot be put into words will manifest as actions.

How important it is to be self-congruent.

Perhaps you can understand a little
why accepting yourself leads to stability.

In interpersonal relationships and human connections,
and in communication,

Empathy, understanding, affirmation, and consideration

are considered important things like these.

Diversity is being talked about, and
little by little,understanding of empathyhas spread.
It is essential for building smooth and good relationships.

And furthermore,building relationships of trust.

In life, trusting people,
trusting society and the world,
trusting yourself,

that, too, is important.

Communication is,

It's not just about verbal communication♪

What you convey to others is not just words, but also non-verbal
cues such as facial expressions, tone of voice, manner of speaking, word choice, eye movement,
gestures, body movement, posture, and so on.

You are also engaging in non-verbal communication♪

How do you build trust?

Become a person who is trusted♪

Being your true self
Self-congruence

Engage in both verbal and non-verbal communication, and
value self-congruence.

Trust
for both yourself and others

It would be wonderful if you could give it✨

You will become a person who trusts and is trusted...

~A night to read it over again~

Hoping it resonates with something in someone's heart✨

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...Thank you for reading...