I Love Heartfelt Connections💕

I love relationships where we can connect heart-to-heart!✨

It doesn't matter if they are male or female; gender is irrelevant.
I love relationships where we can trust each other and speak openly.
Relationships where you don't have to be on guard, where you can speak your true feelings,

I have always sought that!

I have built those kinds of relationships.

Around the upper grades of elementary school, I had social anxiety; my body would stiffen, and when I tried to express my own opinions, I had this strange sensation where my throat would feel blocked and I couldn't speak.

It wasn't that I didn't have friends, but when asked for my opinion, I would feel extreme tension and couldn't say anything. I was so scared that I couldn't voice any opinion, and the words just wouldn't come out. From then on, I worried too much and engaged in excessive conformity. I was wearing myself out more than necessary.

By the time I reached the upper grades, as a girl, I could no longer play among the boys.
I had to navigate the society of girls' groups, but I felt very uncomfortable with it. If you didn't conform, you were criticized, and if you had a different opinion, you were excluded. I was scared of that system, but I tried my best to fit in while watching how things went, which left me very exhausted.
I was plagued by symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, low-grade fevers, and lethargy.

I was bullied in turn. In the midst of that, I gathered my courage and told a friend my thoughts and values. That friend felt the same way. Together, we stood by our beliefs. That was the first time I had a girl friend I could call a best friend✨
She and I went to the same junior high school.
We weren't always together at school, and although we were in the same club, we weren't partners. Even so, she was the one who always supported my heart!

She was a friend I connected with heart-to-heart—someone who listened to stories about the person I liked, stayed by my side when I was ignored, and gave me advice when my parents fought.

In junior high, I was also good friends with boys. When I'm with men, they respect my individuality even when I express my own opinions. I don't have to engage in strange conformity. It was because I could always be my honest, free self. I also had a desire to be accepted as a peer among the boys, but they still saw me as a girl, after all. Even if it was easy to talk to them, I was still a girl.

I saw the boys as friends I could talk to honestly!
(Well, I was sometimes hurt when girls called me a flirt or said I liked men, but I just let them say it (lol). I was able to think that as long as I cherished my own values and the people who understood me understood, that was enough.)
I had always felt that it was hard to see eye-to-eye with girls.

Once I reached high school, it didn't matter if you were a man or a woman! It was very free, and the world I had envisioned was expanding✨ It was a college-prep school with a free-spirited atmosphere. Some students wore wooden clogs, and some had punch-perm hairstyles (lol).
If someone asked, "Can friendship between men and women exist?" most people there would probably answer that it can! There was a respect for personality there❗️

In high school, too, I had best friends—both boys and girls—whom I could consult with, and friends with whom we could open our hearts to each other.
My female best friend was a cool friend who could speak her mind directly. I wasn't able to express my opinions to everyone in every situation to that extent, so she looked very dignified and cool to me✨

Looking back like this, although I was very bad with girls,
I realize that I actually had many friends!

It was precisely because I stood by my own thoughts and values
that I think I was able to find friends who were easy to be with,
and because I believed that those were my true friends.
I thought it was enough to have only people who could respect each other.

I loved connecting with friends in that way.

People who knew me during my adolescence would probably call me a man-lover or androgynous.
It is common knowledge that I have many male friends (lol).

Even after graduating high school and becoming an adult, my way of interacting with people hasn't changed!

Regardless of gender or age, I love resonating with others.
I have friends I can open my heart to, both men and women, who are 10 or 20 years older than me.
I have friends I can open my heart to, both men and women, who are 10 or 20 years younger than me.

I always look at the person and enjoy the connection with them!

It's not that I open my heart to just anyone,

but I trust the sensations I feel with my own eyes and skin, and I build relationships with people while enjoying them.

I am not swayed by rumors or appearances.

I trust my own senses!

I am very confident in that intuition❗️✨

When I connect and resonate with someone heart-to-heart, I feel very happy💕

I have a style of interacting with people that has never changed✨

Be natural

Don't make others feel like they have to walk on eggshells

But also show my own vulnerabilities

Take an interest in others

And then, I guess it's just a gut feeling (lol)✨