My habit...

I think I'll talk a little about myself.

The things I'm careful about...

There are so many!

One of them is...

that I tend to get too straight to the point...

is something that happens...

For me personally,

thoughts come to mind naturally,

a path is formed naturally,

and I naturally move in the direction of dealing with things...

Because I am able to make judgments and take actions like that...

Therefore,

Possible options come to mind instantly,

the best choice to make,

and rethinking my own ideas,

I think I can do these things easily...

Or rather...

Like a math proof problem,

I grasp the whole, list the necessary conditions and grounds,

work backward from the answer,

and just like solving a problem,

I simply proceed rationally toward the goal...

That's how it feels!

So,

with the speed of a flash of inspiration!✨

I can see the path...

ahead.

It feels close to solving a quiz...

At first, I thought everyone was the same...

I didn't realize I was different from others...

I also didn't recognize that I was good at it...

Why doesn't everyone understand...?

Why can't they move...?

I felt that way too...

From the time I was in the upper grades of elementary school,

I felt a gap between myself and those around me...

I didn't talk much about myself, and stayed silent...

When I spoke,

neither my parents nor my friends looked happy...

They would look downcast...

But in the end, ultimately,

the results would be the same as the thoughts I had...

Always, compared to those around me,

I was one or two steps ahead...

I couldn't keep pace with those around me...

Am I not allowed to express any opinions?

I am a being who isn't allowed to say anything...

I started to think that way...

Up until elementary school, perhaps I couldn't read the room...

Even if I could sense emotions...

I probably thought that others' thoughts were the same as my own...

I must have misunderstood that I could also gain empathy...

Even if we feel the same emotions,

I am quick to perceive situations, make judgments, interpret, and process!

The speed at which I take the next action was different...

My thinking is based on logical arguments, reasoning, and grasping the whole picture...

I think it was hard for my parents and friends to hear...

Rather than thinking about how they felt in that state,

I grasp the situation, and the next action just comes to mind...

Feeling emotions only lasts for a split second...

When things didn't go as planned,

I could immediately think, 'It can't be helped! There's nothing I can do!'...

I rarely dwell on unpleasant emotions...

This is...

a habit of mine that I felt when I was little...

It's partly due to my temperament and quick thinking, but...

I also have a reaction of not wanting to feel unpleasant emotions...

When I feel sad, if I keep feeling that sadness...

the sadness won't go away...

When I feel something is unpleasant, if I stay in that unpleasant place...

the unpleasant feeling soaks into my body, and I can't wipe it off...

because it stays in my body too much...

I tried as much as possible not to react, not to react to my emotions...

I hated being mopey or complaining...

Whether it was happiness or sadness,

I would hold it in, and try not to show it in my expression or attitude...

I always kept a cool face...

When my emotions were shaken significantly,

being mocked or scolded by my mother,

or being pointed out, became a wound in my heart...

I was also hurt by the reactions of those around me...

Before I knew it,

I had acquired a way of processing things that kept my emotions from showing...

A habit of not wanting to feel emotions!

A habit of having a quick mind!

I felt my own habits, which were different from those around me,

back when I was in the upper grades of elementary school...

Because of the feeling that I was different from my parents, friends, and those around me,

I felt like I wasn't being accepted...

Whenever I tried to express an opinion,

it felt like my throat was clogged or constricted, and I became unable to speak my mind...

I had physical and mental ailments, such as medically unexplained symptoms, at that time...

As I grew up,

I would feel the same emotions as others, and I could understand what they were feeling, but...

It's just that, before I could spend time immersed in those emotions,

almost simultaneously,

I would already have made a judgment on how to shift gears...

It's something like that...

I feel like it's a bit different from just being quick to switch emotions...

My reason was

stronger than my emotions... that's what it felt like...

By the time I reached middle school,

the act of suppressing myself, which I had done until then, became painful...

I stopped feeling like I was alive...

I felt like I was going crazy... and I became afraid of myself...

While keeping my own opinions, I accepted my differences!

I nurtured my thoughts within myself and learned to value myself!

Perspectives, ways of thinking, and ways of perceiving things that others don't have...

Direction, diligence...

Towards achieving goals

I acknowledged that I am someone who can start moving immediately!

Differences from others!

I accepted that!

Since junior high school...

The words I speak are,

something I am careful about...

Even so, until I became an adult,

I was also meddlesome...

I got irritated at people who were too slow to catch on...

There were also times when things didn't go well...

I experienced many failures!

I learned how to express my thoughts and how to understand others...

As I get older,

even when I show my true self...

my way of thinking and my dexterity

have become accepted by the people around me...

Sometimes,

like the things I write about in my note articles,

I talk about serious topics, but...

usually, the words I am told are,

Everyone can't be like Yuyu!

We aren't as dexterous as you!

With words like those, they point out the differences to me...

Even if I understand that...

People can't do things that easily... that's what they tell me...

It makes me realize that I am the type who can do those things...

I realized it after I got married...

That people around me think I am skillful...

I have struggled with how to deal with my emotions,

ever since I was a little child...

Because I found life difficult to live...

I never thought of myself as skillful...

Things like processing speed or achieving goals

and disciplining myself,

I might indeed be doing skillfully, but...

Being called skillful...

I couldn't quite accept it, and it felt strange...

Ever since I became able to value my own emotions...

Instead of trying not to feel...

I started to let myself feel...

In the true sense, being able to accept my whole self,

happened after...

I learned to forgive myself...

My habit!

Understanding too much...

Sometimes even I can't keep up with the processing...

Don't get to the core too much!

Don't notice too much!

Close your eyes!

Create some emotional distance!

Put it away in a drawer!

Bring them out when necessary!

Don't overreact!

Set emotions aside!

Set thoughts aside too!

Be flexible💕

In the end, ultimately,

Just say "I don't know!" and process it to make things easier (lol)😊

It's about how even my own habits are a part of me✨!

In the fitting room, the clerk said to me, "Oh, those are Rebecca Minkoff shoes, aren't they?" but
I didn't know anything about them (lol)😅
When she asked, "You can't get them anymore, where did you buy them?" and I replied,
"I found them in a treasure hunt state at an outlet of an outlet in America," she said,
"You really can't get them in Japan unless it's online, right?"...

(I had heard it was an outlet of an outlet for a brand over there, but...)
I didn't know at all~~~ (lol)😂 My favorite shoes that I bought for a super bargain✨💕

...Thank you for reading...