My Daughter Leaving the Nest

My daughter, who became a university student this spring

Left home at the end of March and
started living with her sister in Tokyo

Because she didn't want to live alone,
she asked to live with her sister and
got her sister's approval

The sisters are living happily together

A little while after they left home,
I called the sisters and
my eldest daughter said,
“My little sister has gotten homesick,”
and in the background,
my second daughter said,
“Waaah... I’m so lonely...”
in an exaggerated tone, making sure it reached me

While mixing in a little laughter,
she was expressing her loneliness

My second daughter, who seems to have two extremes:
a cool side and a spoiled side

She likes being alone but
is a lonely person who wants to feel human warmth

Because she is somewhat like me,
I want to cherish her

The first time my eldest daughter left home was
the summer of her first year of high school for a one-year study abroad program

When she was in kindergarten, she had separation anxiety and
was a bit clumsy in various ways, so
I was always worried about my eldest daughter

I remember her saying that she expected
she would get homesick too,
but contrary to expectations,
she said she didn't get homesick at all

Perhaps she settled in quickly with her host family;
high adaptability is my eldest daughter's strength

My eldest daughter, next to her sister,
muttered, “I didn't get homesick at all, though.”

In May, when we were feeling tired from the changes in our environment,
both parent and child were like we had May blues

Because she was having fun but also working hard,
she was tired, so
"Yeah, yeah, I get it."
"It's the same for me, you've been working hard, haven't you?"
"It's exhausting, isn't it?"
I listened to her complaints and empathized with her.

"I'm going back to my parents' house."
"I want to go home and relax."

Saying that, about once or twice a month,
she comes home to let her hair down.

"This place really is great, it's so relaxing."
"I used to think my parents' house was small, but compared to where I live now, it feels spacious."

The home she returns to after a long time
seems to feel different than before.

Meeting friends, reminiscing about the past in her hometown,
thinking about the environment she finds herself in,
she spends time relaxing.

"The atmosphere here really is the best."
"I talked about the same things with friends I hadn't seen in a while, and we were both grateful for our environment."
"I'm definitely coming back here in the future."

Her love for her hometown is unstoppable.
Her parents' house is her sanctuary.

When my eldest daughter started living on her own,
she got used to city life and spent all her time playing.

It's interesting how different they are.

My eldest daughter loves her hometown and her parents' house too, but
she almost never came home.
Unless I reached out and said, "Come home once in a while,"
she wouldn't come home at all.

The fact that the sisters are so different
always keeps things interesting for me.

Her wisdom tooth extraction turned into a surgery,
so she came back to her parents' house the other day to schedule it.

In June, she joined a club and started a part-time job,
so she seemed busy.
Perhaps because she was struggling with relationships at her part-time job,
it was the first time she had to see a doctor for feeling unwell.

She sent a weak-spirited text in the middle of the night,
and in that regard, her older sister is the same.

The fact that she relies on me is cute,
and it's a moment where I feel happy to be a parent.

When things aren't going well,
sometimes things just don't work out.
Ugh! Seriously! Why?!
When things like that keep happening,
you feel completely exhausted.

Even though she did her best to go to university, the class was canceled,
and she just returned home without doing anything.
And that happened day after day...

She forgot her umbrella on the train and lost it.
She dropped and lost the expensive necklace
that she had just been given as a gift from her parents.

She was bedridden due to feeling unwell.

It was just one bad thing after another; she was having a streak of bad luck.
As soon as she came back to her parents' house, she saw me and gave me a hug.

"Waaah, I'm so tired!"

"I see, I see, that must have been tough."

I patted her.

Ever since she went through various things in middle school,
as if to make up for the affection she missed,
she has always come to me for hugs,
so I have responded to her requests for hugs throughout middle and high school.

It seems that habit is still preserved even now.

My eldest daughter was affectionate when she was a child, but
I wonder if she became independent early on...
My younger daughter has a way of being affectionate that my eldest doesn't.

However, this time it wasn't just about her bad luck,
it seems there was another reason...

"I had a dream that you died, Mom! (sob)"
"It was so scary! (sob)"
"It was so sad! (sob)"
"So I decided that when I got home, I would give you a big hug, waaah."

"Oh, that must have been sad."
"I see, I see, that must have been scary." *pat pat*

"But, but, when I looked up something like dream interpretation..."
"It said it was a good sign, like about becoming independent."
"So it's okay... but I really hated that you died, waaah."

"Ah, they do say that independence is like 'killing the parent,' don't they? Is that it?"
"It's a harsh way to put it, but there is that idea of killing off the parent, or moving beyond them."

"Yeah, I know... *sniff*..."

"I see... wait, don't kill your mother in your dreams! (laughs)"

When I turned it into a joke, my daughter chuckled a little.
We hugged as mother and daughter and smiled.

You're heading toward independence, aren't you?

Right in the middle of becoming independent!

Good luck, my second daughter♡

"I'm going to stay here for the whole summer vacation!"

You can stay as long as you like✨

~A step toward independence~

Climbing another step up the ladder to adulthood

When swaying between being a child and an adult,
clinging to others is bound to happen.

Swaying back and forth,

It's the same during puberty in middle school and such,
and perhaps before that around age 10,
around age 6, and around age 2.

When the ego becomes stronger,
like the 'terrible twos' or a rebellious phase,
you see more clinging than usual.

She's struggling with inner conflict,
she's in a leap of growth.

I feel that and watch over her.

Perhaps she is unconsciously sensing
that she is heading toward adulthood.

Her struggle looks like
the transformation from larva to pupa, and from pupa to butterfly
as she changes

A step toward changing into the next form

I cheer her on,
praying in my heart, "You can do it!"

The rebellious phase is not a bad thing,
it is a time when such dependency emerges,
because it is necessary for growth.

I think, "She's being dependent," but
it's not that I am affirming the content of her actions,
but rather that I am affirming the process of that dependency.

A necessary process for growth

The rebellious phase involves many clashes,
it is painful for her and painful for me,
and it becomes difficult for both of us, but

Thinking that she is moving up a stage, one step at a time,
I have been watching over her with warm eyes.

Has she reached the final stage of fluttering as a butterfly? ♡
Just one more step to go. ♪

It is the greatest reward for a parent. ✨

・・Thank you for reading・・

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