Trusting and Being Trusted

I have been sharing my thoughts on trust and relationships.

Building relationships of trust.
What does it mean to trust?
Also, what does it mean to trust and be trusted?

I would be happy if we could think about how to deepen these together.

(There are about 3800 characters.)

Relationships of trust

While we don't do it with everyone, there are times when we think, "This person," or "I want to build a relationship with this person."

Everyone likely observes the other person and considers whether they can be trusted.

We rarely place trust in someone we have just met.
What kind of person are they?
I think we judge whether to trust them by looking at their character and personality.

Are there people around you whom you can trust?

Why do you think you can trust that person?

What kind of person feels trustworthy to you?

Conversely, by doing that yourself,

you yourself become a trustworthy person!

Isn't that what it's about?

You have an image of a trustworthy person within yourself.
You might also be able to express it in words, such as "a person like so-and-so."

If so, you should provide the same thing to others as you do for yourself.
I believe you should simply adopt those
attitudes and behaviors yourself.

Relationships are mutual things♪

It is not something that only the other person does,
nor is it something that only you do.
It is not like that.

I think it is also important to strive to become a person who is trusted, just as you would expect others to be.
I think it is important to make an effort to do so.

Instead of just demanding things from the other person,
it would be good to reflect on your own attitude.

Try becoming that kind of trusted person♪

People tend to only want to talk about the other person.
They want to try to change the other person.
They want to make things easy for themselves right away.

Is there nothing I can do?
What can I do?

We tend to forget
to think about what we can do ourselves.

We complain to others about this and that,
saying who is to blame, or that the world is bad,
telling them to do this or that,
often setting aside our own faults.

Become a person who earns trust✨

I believe that is the shortest path to building a relationship of trust♪
That is what I think.

Even if you couldn't build a relationship,
if you were able to trust yourself,
even if you feel sad,
you probably won't get too depressed.
You won't blame yourself,
and you won't blame the other person either.

With the same mindset,
to be a stable version of yourself,
you build that kind of self.

Trust yourself✨

Can you trust someone
who does not trust themselves?

When you try to trust someone,
what kind of situation is that?

A person who does not trust themselves
might seem somewhat lacking in confidence or timid,
or conversely,
they might appear to be putting on a brave front,
or give off an atmosphere of being evasive.They give the impression of being unable to take responsibility for themselves...

Therefore, when you place your trust in them,
you might wonder, 'Will they really be okay?'
You feel anxious or worried. You hesitate.

If they seem timid,
you worry about them crumbling under pressure.
If they seem to be putting on a brave front,
you worry about them shifting blame or polarizing things.

You worry about whether they
can truly view things in line with reality and facts.

Wondering if it is safe to trust them...

The moment you try to trust the other person is,
based on that,

the moment you understand such things,
and try to accept them.

It is an attitude of support,
where you accept them as they are, including all of that,
aiming to support them,
and taking on what they lack.

You are taking on that situation within yourself.
That attitude can be said to be an attitude of trusting yourself.

That is,
an attitude of understanding that you can be a source of strength for the other person,
sharing their failures and worries,
wishing for and believing in their growth,
and trying to trust the other person.

When that is felt mutually,
a relationship of trust is born there✨

Isn't that how it works?

When taking on new challenges,
or when doing something you have just learned and lack confidence in,
or when doing something you feel you are not good at,
everyone lacks confidence in themselves.

At such times, if you can
tell yourself it's okay to fail! and give yourself
a sense of security, you might be able to face it a little and think that it's okay to give it a try.

Also, if you can think that it's okay to fail, and feel that the environment
is watching over you, saying, 'I accept you!',
you can feel a sense of security, face it a little, and might be able to try.

When you don't trust yourself, or when you lack confidence,

being able to think it's okay to fail, and feeling that you are accepted.

The sense of being able to trust yourself and the sense of being protected by your environment

I suppose it is important to feel that.

When people lack confidence, they put on a front.

In a sense, that is natural. People do not want to feel miserable or ashamed.

However,
putting on a front is deceiving yourself.
Because you are hiding your true self,
you become unable to trust yourself.

To deceive yourself means, in other words,
trying not to see yourself as you are.

When you are not being yourself,
you feel a sense of discomfort even with yourself.
Something doesn't feel right and things aren't clicking.
Eventually, both your mind and body become unbalanced
and stop working well.

That could be said to be making you realize that you are not being yourself.

If so, one might tend to think
that you should try not to put on a front, which might force you to deny what you feel, but that is not what it means.

We are only human.
It is natural to put on a front sometimes.

It is not that people who don't put on a front
are the only ones who trust themselves,

even if you put on a front,
there are people who can still trust themselves.

What is the difference?

It is someone who
knows that they are putting on a facade.

Someone who honestly acknowledges and accepts themselves.
That is what it means.

They are aware of the 'self they have perceived'.

They can see themselves objectively.
They are meta-cognizant.
That is what it means.

That is what it means to accept your true,
authentic self
without falsehoods.

Your authentic self is not just
the positive version of you.

Being able to perceive the 'self you have perceived' right now
is your authentic self. That is it.

Self-congruence✨

Self-congruence is
an important attitude for building relationships.

When there is no self-congruence,
you feel a sense of discomfort both within yourself and with others.

It is essential
when building relationships with others,
and when building a relationship with yourself.

Because that is the attitude
that allows for trust, both in others and in yourself.

When you are self-congruent,
a sense of security is born✨

Attitude (what is visible)

Words and actions (what is said and done)

Way of speaking (how it is conveyed)

Things like these are
being sent to the other person.

Even if you do not intend to send them,
they are being sent outward.

What you are sending to the other person
is not just the words or their meaning.

A great deal of information from you
is being conveyed to the other person and those around you.

You, too, are receiving various information from others,
integrating it, and making judgments.

Therefore, a sense of discomfort from a lack of self-congruence
means your words, actions, and attitude do not match, are unstable,
and are being sent outward and are visible.

Not being self-congruent
creates an imbalance, and that instability
leaves those around you confused about how to handle it,
and the instability is transmitted.

Even if your expression is smiling, you may feel your eyes are not,
or you may say you are fine while wearing a troubled look,
or you may get irritated easily;
things that cannot be put into words will manifest as actions.

How important it is to be self-congruent.

Perhaps you can now understand a little bit
the reason why accepting yourself leads to stability.

In interpersonal relationships and human connections,
and in communication,

Empathy, understanding, affirmation, and consideration

These things are considered important.

Diversity is being talked about, and
little by little, an understanding of empathy has been spreading.
It is essential for building smooth and positive relationships.

And furthermore, building relationships of trust.

In life, trusting others,
trusting society and the world,
trusting yourself—

that is also important.

Communication is

not just verbal communication♪

What you convey to others is not just words, but also
facial expressions, tone of voice, way of speaking, word choice, eye movement,
gestures, body movement, posture... and other non-verbal

non-verbal communication as well♪

How do you build trust?

Become a person who is trusted♪

Being your true self,
self-congruence

Engage in verbal and non-verbal communication,
and value self-congruence

trust
for yourself and for others

It would be wonderful if you could give it✨

You will become a person who trusts and is trusted...

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