Enjoying Differences

Look at the other person
Look at yourself

What are the differences?
Where are the differences?
I wonder what kind of things are different.

When I find them,
it feels like solving a mystery in a puzzle game,
or like the feeling when a puzzle piece clicks into place,
it's similar to that.

It's as if I'm solving a game,
I sometimes feel that kind of joy.

Someone who is the complete opposite
can be a lot of trouble in many ways, but
that mysterious element
can be strange and intriguing.

Why are we so different?
How can they be like that?

When I look at every single word and action,
they seem like a different species, and I start to find it interesting.

When the underlying factors
that are likely the origin of those mysterious elements
somehow connect,
a sense of joy wells up, like finding buried treasure.

My beloved childhood friend is the complete opposite of me,
and the way things get mismatched
always makes me laugh.

My childhood friend is the type who can be laid-back in a good way.
They can forget unpleasant things immediately.
They move on quickly. They say they don't think about anything.
That carefree impression, for better or worse.

They are able to enjoy things to a reasonable extent.

They are realistic, with a sense that if the result is good, then it's good.
It's like they learn through practice.

Compared to that, I am
the type who is not good at being laid-back.

I tend to get bogged down, pursue quality,
and easily become fixated.
My standards also tend to become high.
Instead of not thinking, I think too much.

I suppose the impression is that I am serious, diligent, and a perfectionist.

There are times when 'good enough' is fine,
and times when I want to do things properly,
it changes from time to time.

It feels like thinking abstractly while looking at the big picture.
The sensation of using my brain a lot.

I am told I overthink things.

The difference between me and my childhood friend feels like the difference between
being a Sensing (S) type
or an Intuitive (N) type in MBTI,

which made me laugh.

As I compared our respective characteristics
and looked at the parts where we differ,

somehow, it felt as if
the way we approached learning in our childhood
is reflected in how we think now.

I thought that was interesting♪

My learning style is that
once I start something, I aim for the top tier.
I am.

I spare no effort to achieve that,
and I even enjoy the process of reaching my goals.

Setting a goal in the top 10-20% is ideal.
I find joy in doing my best.

People around me also point out that my goals are high.

If I raise my children with these values,
they will get exhausted.

Because they are not the same as me.
If I treat success as something that should be taken for granted,
it is hard for their self-esteem to grow.

I have thought carefully and been cautious
about how to raise my children.

In the past, I often struggled with these parts of myself
that are both strengths and weaknesses.

Since realizing that,
I have come to
frequently look at and think about my set values.

When my daughters were children,
I wanted them to get at least a 90!

Since we were like that too,
we wanted our children to have the same mindset.

I was with a mom friend who said that,

and another mom friend who said,
I'd like them to get good grades if possible, butI don't feel that strongly about it.

I was with a mom friend who said that.

She said that when we were kids,
we spent our time without thinking about anything,
and we got about average scores on tests,
so we couldn't really say anything to our kids.

But, for my child,
I do hope they get good grades if possible,
I can't help but wish for it.

The mom friend said with a smile.

Rather than setting things up to make it happen,
it sounded to me like a hope,
somewhat leaving it to others,
as if she just hoped things would turn out that way.

If I had to ask for more, 80-90% would be nice, but
if they get above average, around 60-70%, that's fine.

It's not bad, and as long as it doesn't go down from there!
It might even get better♪

She was optimistic like that.
There is a good kind of laid-back attitude.

A goal of 80-90% is on the high side.
When you stay there for a long time,
it becomes your normal.

It would be good if one could learn how to be easygoing somewhere else, but
I suppose our way of thinking becomes a habit based on our upbringing.

Being easygoing can feel like slacking off,
or it can feel like cutting corners... that happens.

It's not just about studying,
but also things like housework,
or raising children...

In the workplace,
the difference in thinking between those who are sensory-oriented and those who are intuition-oriented
might lead to different ways of thinking and acting...

Perhaps one might question those differences in thinking.
It might just be the way of thinking that has become one's own habit.

Everyone's 'best' is different.
It doesn't have to be the best,
sometimes 'better' is just fine.

I've felt various differences, but

talking with my childhood friend,
I was once again made aware of
a part of myself I had carelessly left behind...

Ah, I was the type with perfectionist tendencies
who tries to aim for 80 to 90 percent!

I thought, haha

Is it because my feelings are strong?
Do I have a sense of responsibility?
Am I serious?
Is my perspective too broad, or is it becoming too narrow?

The habits that have been formed
stick with you, haha♪

My childhood friend's easygoing nature always
makes me reflect on myself.

Oops, that's right! I think.

It has become an opportunity to pause and reflect on my heart♪

People's words and differences

are fun because they lead to
such realizations and discoveries✨♫

・・Thank you for reading・・

#PuttingHeartIntoWords
#Yuyu
#Essay
#StateOfMind
#WayOfThinking
#Values
#MBTI
#Parenting
#HumanRelationships
#Communication
#Differences
#Interesting