While feeling pain

Feel yourself as you are now

Accept it just as it is

So that is how it is

That is how you are feeling

Saying yes, yes

Being able to accept yourself is wonderful

In the midst of feeling pain

You are struggling and suffering

Feeling the pain just as it is

Even if you are feeling pain

Of accepting things just as they are

You have no room for that

With a single-minded desire to escape the suffering

Things like accepting things as they are

Things like coming to terms with them

Are impossible

And I don't even want to accept them

The current state, just as it is

Is unbearable agony

Even if I'm told it's okay to be as I am

Being in that state, just as I am

Is painful

I hate myself for not being able to do that

And that self-loathing just leads to more pain

Every word hurts

I truly have no room to spare

It's okay to be as you are

That is

about my own existence, but

that it is okay to remain in a painful situation

feels like I am being told that

even though I hate the situation where I feel pain

even though I hate myself for feeling pain

and I cannot stand being just as I am

it is okay as it is

it is okay to be just as you are

how cruel that is

and to think in such a way

is something I could never do

that I am in a terribly painful situation

is with that kind of feeling

Even if you yourself want to escape

You strongly feel that you cannot escape

You feel your own helplessness and weakness

You feel a sense of injustice

You are suffering in a situation where you cannot move

Even if you are told that it is okay to be as you are

You are in a place where you simply cannot

Affirm yourself as you are

It is okay to be as you are

Accepting the meaning of those words

Is difficult

It is okay for you to be as you are

It is okay for any version of yourself to exist

While that affirms your dignity

The situation needs to be changed

It is not that you yourself need to change

The idea of changing the situation

somehow

feels like changing yourself

Your own thoughts feel just like

your very self

and it feels as if the person you have been until now

is somehow a failure

and it feels as if you are inferior for not being able to do what everyone says

and it feels as if

the version of you that cannot do any of these things is highlighted

and it starts to feel like there is no point in living

feeling as if there is nothing good at all

changing yourself

feels like denying the self

that endured and worked hard through the pain

yet, the self that cannot change

and the unchanging situation remain painful

Remaining as you are is also painful

Changing yourself is also painful

You are in the midst of that

It is not about changing the individual

But about changing your actions

That is what it is about, but

The individual, thoughts, and actions

Are easy to confuse

Because feelings tend to follow along with them

Thoughts and perceptions can also become difficult

Feelings are truly the key

If the key is locked, you become unable to move

If you misapply the key, things become complicated

There are many ways to feel

And there are many ways to think

With just a change in mindset

the world you see will change

your mindset is the key

Words that stand in the same place

draw close to your feelings

with empathy, your heart relaxes

Things that cannot stand in the same place

any words at all

feel like distant words

feel like words spoken from above

when you are down and have sunk too low

it is difficult to stand in the same place and look out

what it means to be in the midst of feeling pain

is that it is such a feeling and state of being

From my own experience

That is how it feels

I can be close to my own feelings

The one closest to me is myself

To be close to my own feelings

That is what it means to accept

Not by denying or affirming

Just with a warm heart

Simply being there for myself

Gently wrapping everything as it is...

~Pain~

I have experienced pain

When I was bullied
When I was in adolescence
When I clashed with my parents
When my mother was broken
When my father was gone
When I was in poverty
When my son lived a short life
When I didn't get along with my husband
When my daughter couldn't go to school
When I burned out

Is pain something that everyone experiences?
Are there people who never experience it?

At the very least, the feelings I have when in pain
are things I want to remember.

So that I can be close to
the feelings of those who are in pain...

I used the colored ribbon by #hoho-san♪
Thank you♡

..Thank you for reading..

#PuttingHeartIntoWords
#Yuyu
#Essay
#Column
#Heart
#Psychology
#Pain
#Adversity
#BeingCloseTo
#ThingsIHaveExperienced