People I dislike [Project Participation]

#What I learned from people I dislike

I thought I'd participate in Akira Yamane's project, so
I tried thinking about "people I dislike."

People I dislike... are there any?

Hmm...

Hmm...

Are there... any people I dislike?

...

I couldn't think of anyone...

People I dislike... maybe... there aren't any?

I couldn't think of anyone at all (lol)

For me

"Not my type"

There is a category for that.

A "person I'm not good with"
is different from someone I "dislike."

Just because I'm not good with someone,
it doesn't mean I "dislike" them.

I don't "like" them, but I don't "dislike" them either.

They are positioned as neither.

If I had to express it, it would be"I don't like them."

But that is,

not that I "dislike" them, but simply that I am "not good with" them.

It means that I myself am just "not good with" them,
which is a little different from the "feeling of dislike."

For example,
I encounter things I find unpleasant here and there,
but

even if I think something is unpleasant,
I wonder if it's like this?

There is a part of me that can look at it from a different position,
and I can process the overall understanding and information.

There is the perspective of the emotion I feel, and the perspective of looking at the whole,
and there are two perspectives that proceed simultaneously.

Summarizing that calmly, from a third perspective,
synthesizing, analyzing, summarizing, and adjusting.

That does not mean not feeling emotions,
nor does it mean thinking only with reason,

experiencing unpleasant feelings as a matter of course,
feeling what there is to feel, and understanding one's own emotions.

I don't like this.

It is the emotion of 'disliking' (unpleasantness),
not the cognition of 'hate'.

🔶 Distinguishing between 'unpleasant' and 'hate'

'Unpleasant' feels like it points to something within that action or process,

'Hate' feels like it points to that thing, person, or something fixed.

Somehow...

I think 'unpleasant' lies within what is behind that.

Asking, what kind of thing is it that feels 'unpleasant'?

It is very easy to immediately label surface things as 'hate',
but I feel that is a little different.

It is the same as saying you dislike school or don't want to go.
There are things that cannot be put into words,
and it is not necessarily school itself, but rather you might be holding
unpleasant things or difficulties in more specific areas,
yet you might simply group them all together as school.

🔶 Positioning of "Dislike"

"Dislike" is something you are "not good with"

It is not "hating," but "not liking"

"Not liking" means,

literally, "anything other than liking."

Let's look at it broadly.

If you raise the level of abstraction and expand it,
it becomes familiar and its outline blurs.

Into a large frame that is
neither "liking" nor "hating."

🔶 Learning words with the brain

Cognition of the emotion of "dislike."

If you use the word "hate,"

"Dislike" is linked to "hate" and stored in the brain.
"Dislike" will always be perceived as "hate."

If you use the word "not good with,"

"Dislike" is linked to "not my cup of tea," and
"Dislike" does not head toward "hate," and
it always brings out the recognition of "not my cup of tea."

I make my brain learn it.

I am aware that the words I speak
have a significant impact on myself.

I think carefully about the words I use.

So that I am not swayed by myself.

I try not to use
the word "hate."

"Not my cup of tea"
"Not my strong suit"
"I don't really like it"

I convert and use these words.

I consciously avoid using the word "hate."

I do not use it.

Within myself, I make distinctions and reach an understanding.

I properly feel that things I dislike are disliked.
I align the self that felt it with what I thought.

Since I understand it,
all that's left is to sort out my own feelings.

When I can understand something,
I can also shift my feelings quickly.

If the emotional damage is significant,
it takes a little more time.

But, because I understand it,

it becomes nothing more or less than that.

As for things I cannot understand,
I understand that I cannot understand them.

What I learned from 'people I dislike' is,

that I learned to perceive them as 'not my type' instead of using the yardstick of 'dislike'.

Neither disliked, nor liked,

just simply, not my type...

~Not using the word dislike~

There must have been times I felt dislike.
I can no longer recall such things...

They have completely vanished from my memory,
and I have forgotten them.

I don't think I dislike them,
I think it's just that I find them unpleasant.

I've had many unpleasant experiences,
but I still don't come to dislike them...

It becomes 'not liking them',
but that's different from disliking them...

It's not that I dislike the person,

it's just that those parts of their methods or way of thinking
don't suit me and I'm not good with them.

I feel unpleasant emotions or anger,
and I feel various things,
but I come to understand that this is just how it is...

It's not about disliking them or anything,
it's more like organizing and processing information...

What remains is,
only how I calm my own feelings...

It's easy to just label someone as disliked.

Saying you dislike someone just means
that there's something there you're not good with, right?

That's the conclusion I reach...

Akira Yamane-san

It's a last-minute entry, but please accept my project submission!
Thank you for this wonderful project that lets me face myself✨😊

...Thank you for reading...