For children who feel discouraged, thinking 'No matter how much I practice, I don't get better.' Parental support techniques to turn 'I can't' into 'I can'
'Why can't I do this...?'
The other day, I found myself holding my head in front of my computer.
At that moment, it occurred to me.
This is exactly how children feel when they hit a wall in sports.
Hello.
I am Yasuyuki Sugimura, a mental coach and a 'parent-child companion' who nurtures the hearts of athletes.
Today, I would like to talk about an experience I had recently.
It contained an important hint for helping children regain their confidence.
In my 50s, struggling with accounting software
Actually, the other day, I had to use 'accounting software' for work for the first time.
I opened the screen with enthusiasm.
However, all I saw were technical terms.
I didn't understand anything from the basics.
'Can I really do this...?'
Honestly, I was at a loss.
So, I tried something.
It was the 'mental technique' I usually teach athletes.
I decided to use it on myself.
Lower the hurdle to the absolute minimum. 'Just do it for 5 minutes.'
Put off difficult things. 'Start from where it's easy to do.'
'Do it first thing in the morning' when you have energy.
Even if I only entered a little, I praised myself, saying, 'Good, I made progress!'
I continued this steadily every day.
Then, something strange happened.
The task that was so painful began to progress little by little.
And before I knew it, I was 'someone who could use it.'
At this moment, I felt it keenly once again.
The feeling of 'becoming able to do something,' even if it's little by little, is what gives people the power to move forward.
Use the joy of 'I did it!' as fuel
This feeling is the same for children who are struggling to improve in sports.
A play they couldn't do before, they can now do.
Their time has improved just a little bit.
They were able to learn one new technique.
When such a small 'I did it!' is born.
And even when they 'couldn't do it at all,' let's look for the 'parts they could do' within that.
It can be something really small.
They failed the tackle, but 'your footwork was good.'
They couldn't break their record, but 'your form was very beautiful.'
They didn't get a hit, but 'your choice of pitch to target was not wrong.'
Even if the results don't follow, the feeling that 'I was able to do this part that I practiced' is what matters most.
Please, parents, celebrate that small joy with your child with all your might.
And here is the most important point.
I want you to praise not just the result, but the 'effort (process) up to that point.'
'That's because you worked hard on morning practice every day!'
'You were able to do it because you tried many times without giving up!'
By being spoken to like that, children understand through their own skin.
'Continuing to make an effort to improve myself is such a wonderful thing!'
Giving children the 'leverage' to change their lives
Aim to 'become able to do it.' Make an effort. And know the joy of achieving it.
Children who have experienced this cycle in sports are truly strong. They become surprisingly strong in situations outside of sports as well.
Even when they face difficult studies.
Even when they hit a big wall in their work in the future.
'I practiced and became able to do it back then, too.'
'So, if you keep at it with a little ingenuity, you'll surely be able to do it this time!'
It is important to think that way and engage energetically in the sport.
Accumulate those kinds of experiences.
Then, believing in that, they will grow into adults who can take on challenges boldly.
Acquiring the 'joy of growth' through sports right now.
That will create an immeasurable 'leverage' in your child's future life.
It will become a power that greatly improves their academics, work, and life itself.
Victory and results are, of course, important too.
But why not try to find the 'small growth' that happened today?
And why not share the joy of that process as parent and child?
That is the very best way to hand your child a weapon called 'self-confidence' that they can use for the rest of their life.
First, try to find one thing your child 'was able to do' today. And please celebrate that effort together with them.
Thank you for reading until the end.
Mental Coach Yasuyuki Sugimura
\ A 7-day course to change a parent's 'mindset' / [Free] Email course on 'how parents can interact' to raise children who perform well under pressure
'Is there anything more I can do for my child?' While wishing for that, you might find yourself riding an emotional rollercoaster with every game, and getting emotional...
There is something I want to tell those very serious parents. The key to developing your child's talent lies more in the 'parent's words and mental state' closest to them than in technique or physical strength.
I, Yasuyuki Sugimura, have condensed the 'hints for parents to change from a coach to the best cheering squad' that I discovered while working alongside many parent-child pairs into a 7-day email course.
Just by reading one email a day, your heart should feel lighter, and you will surely feel your perspective on your child changing.
Furthermore, a special gift for those of you who want to put this into practice right away
As a newsletter registration bonus, I am also giving away for free 'Magic Encouragement Pocket Cards (PDF)' that you can use in the car on the way to a game or right after it.
With a '7-day deep learning course' and an 'easy-to-use charm card,' why not join your child in discovering a new perspective together?
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