On Marriage Condition Games by a Mahjong Pro Graduated from the University of Tokyo Medical School
Hello everyone! High deviation score!
With a deviation score of 130! I am Kenta Sugimura, a Mahjong pro who graduated from the University of Tokyo Medical School!
The other day, while I was live streaming on YouTube, I received this comment from a listener.
"A couple is arguing because the girl wants to be a full-time housewife, but the man wants a dual-income marriage."
I thought it was a common, realistic story, but it turns out it wasn't a personal experience but a story from a romance reality show. What the heck.
So, I have written various notes on love until now, but
I hear that many people are good at Mahjong condition games but bad at marriage condition games, so this time
"What are the conditions you can compromise on and the conditions you cannot in marriage?"
I will try to think about this using the brain of a University of Tokyo medical school graduate.
By the way, my love deviation score is 30.
And once again, there is no scientific basis for this.
I thought about it only inside my own head.
But you don't need scientific thinking for love, right!
To begin with, what are the non-negotiable conditions?
I think marriage has parts that can be pushed through with just feelings of love, and parts that will lead to a dead end if values are misaligned. In both Mahjong and love, it is important not just to push through, but also to know when to fold.
1. The full-time housewife or dual-income issue
As a listener mentioned, I feel like this is the most important thing first.
If this part is completely opposite, it seems like it would be quite difficult.
One person wants the other to stay home, but the other wants to continue working.
There is no right or wrong answer between these two, but since the life plans themselves are different, I feel that if one person compromises, it will definitely cause friction somewhere down the line.
"Our values don't match, but as long as there is love, it will be fine!"
is,
as dangerous a way of thinking as "I don't have a winning hand, but it'll be fine if I just knock over my tiles!"
2. The issue of where to spend money
This is also a big one.
By the way, I have almost no desire for material possessions.
I have absolutely no interest in brand-name goods or expensive watches.
Instead,
I am the type who wants to spend money on memories like trips and events.
Material things depreciate from the moment you buy them, but memories do not fade.
Moreover, the more people you share those memories with, the better the cost-performance becomes.
It's wonderful.
Conversely, I don't think my values would align with someone who is a brand supremacist or who believes that the more expensive something is, the more valuable it is.
Rather than a luxury bag, I want to be with you at the Ritz-Carlton Maldives, listening to the sound of the waves and watching a beautiful sunset.
3. The Indoor vs. Outdoor Issue
This is also important.
If one person thinks staying home is the best, and the other wants to go camping every weekend, the one who is compromising will likely build up a lot of stress.
However, this might be solved by both people living as they please.
For example,
The outdoor-loving wife goes on overseas trips, while the indoor-loving husband stays home and thinks forever about whether to take a 2000-point bad-wait hand or a 1000-point good-wait hand in the early turns.
If both can tolerate that, I feel like it could work.
Conclusion from a University of Tokyo Medical School Graduate
Therefore, even if you compromise in mahjong and settle for a guaranteed second-place win, I personally think it is better not to compromise on differences in values with a marriage partner.
Finally
As I said at the beginning, this is a theory thought up at the table by a mahjong pro who graduated from the University of Tokyo medical school with a romantic aptitude score of 30, so please reconcile your values at your own risk!
After all, there is no 'pao' (responsibility payment) in romance!
...
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