A Life Not Ruled by Schedules
Don't you ever feel pushed around by the schedules you've set for yourself?
Sometimes, when things don't go as planned, I end up blaming myself or getting frustrated, which actually lowers my efficiency. It's strange to be ruled by a schedule when it was only supposed to be a guideline in the first place, isn't it?
As the list of things I 'must do' grows, I lose the capacity to savor the present moment, but in reality, it should be perfectly fine to change plans on a whim.
If there's another person involved, sudden changes in plans can be nothing but a nuisance, but some people aren't bothered by it at all. This is an old story, but my girlfriend at the time, for example, on a morning when we had decided to go to Disneyland, would say, 'Let's go to the aquarium instead!' and then add, 'It's so fun how our plans keep changing!' Well, by normal standards, one would be furious, but I think it's fine to be that fluid.
What I've been thinking lately is that being able to enjoy time spent doing nothing is truly wonderful. It's not that there's nothing to do, but rather that it's precious time to feel the 'now' and to savor the fact that I am in control. And then, if I think, 'I want to do this,' I do it immediately. This feels like a very luxurious way to spend time. It means spending a day following my own senses rather than following a schedule.
If you think that having nothing to do, or time spent doing nothing, is a waste, then you've been quite brainwashed. You don't have to produce anything, and time without productivity is totally fine—who says it's not?
I am currently taking plenty of time to do nothing, and I'm experimenting to see what I will do when that happens. I want to see what kind of changes occur when I shift to a way of life where I engage in what I love and focus on what I want to do.
Of course, things will get tougher financially, and it would be a lie to say I have no anxiety at all, but I don't want to get my priorities wrong, do I? I want to know what kind of mental state I'll be in when I live a five-dimensional life, what kind of cosmic support I'll receive, and above all, I don't want to be tied down by a schedule.
When I was working at Sony Music, I loved my job and worked hard without taking breaks, but one day I looked at my planner and saw that my schedule was packed for about six months ahead. I was suddenly struck by anxiety, wondering if I could really handle all of this.
That was the trigger that caused me to hit the brakes and fall into depression. It took me a year or two to recover, but I had been running without knowing my own limits, and if I had kept pushing like that, I definitely would have broken my body. Actually, back then, I was hospitalized almost every year anyway, haha.
When you live a life where you engage in what you love and focus on what you want to do, unexpected developments should arise. I've shared this on this Note before, and since I've experienced wonderful outcomes many times by letting go and surrendering, I intend to enter a serious mode of completely letting go.
This year has been the starting year for that, and I will continue to post updates on how things are going on this Note, so please look forward to it.
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