"What are you going to do?" is not a question

A conversation between a parent and child that I happened to overhear.

Child: "My ear hurts a little."
Mother: "What!? Does it hurt?"
Child: "Just a little."
Mother: "We should go to the hospital, right?"
Child: "Uhh... (It hurts a little, but maybe I don't need to go to the hospital...)"
Mother: "What are you going to do?!"
Child: "...... (Even if you ask me what I'm going to do...)"
Mother: "Are you going?! Or are you not going?!"
Child: "Uhh... I don't know what to do..."
Mother: "Fine, do whatever you want! Don't come crying to me!"
Child: "(She's angry for some reason... It hurts, so maybe I should go...) ...I'll go."
Mother: "It's too late now. I told you we should go."
Child: "..."

A mismatch in thoughts between parent and child

Interactions like this are common.

Parents think, "I don't know what my child is thinking" or "They won't talk to me properly," while children think, "It's useless to say anything" or "It's better to just stay quiet and do what I'm told."

The phrases parents (overwhelmingly mothers) often use, such as "We should do X, right?" or "What are you going to do?," take the form of a question but are not actually questions. They are either seeking agreement because they believe X should be done, or they already have an expected answer and are waiting for that expected answer to be returned.

On the other hand, when a child answers with their own feelings because it is superficially a question, the parent becomes displeased. If the child does not provide an answer that aligns with the parent's expectations, the parent becomes displeased. When this is experienced repeatedly, the child begins to avoid expressing their own opinions as much as possible.

Once such a relationship is established, the child basically stops opening up to the parent.

Parents have only two choices: either accept that the child should just listen to them and that if there is something they really dislike, they will just keep secrets or lie to get by, or consciously try to use phrasing that makes it easier for the child to express their own opinions, such as, "I think we should do X, but what do you think?"