[Reading Record -125] The Art of Opening the Heart through Dialogue
The work of a psychiatrist... It is said that it is not about changing the other person, but about listening to them and supporting them as they face their own problems.
The core of this book, "The Art of Opening the Heart through Dialogue," is the concept of "dialogue". Dialogue refers to a process where both parties change through words. Therefore, persuading or refuting the other person cannot be called dialogue in the true sense. Rather, "accepting the possibility that your own thinking might change" is what dialogue is all about.
In this book, the author develops his own theory regarding the unique communication structures in Japan, such as "kuuki" (the atmosphere) and "seken" (the public/society). We often use the phrase "reading the air" in a positive sense, but you cannot have a dialogue within that "atmosphere".
I recently took on the mentoring of two young business owners, but for the most part, it didn't become a "dialogue" at first. I would unilaterally talk about management theory or business strategy, and the other person would quietly listen... That's usually how it starts.
Of course, the fact that the other person is silent doesn't necessarily mean they agree. Sometimes they just "don't know what to talk about," or they feel they "must not argue back." If I fail to sense that and get carried away, becoming condescending, then I am unfit to be a mentor.
Dialogue is not about reaching a consensus. It is
based on the premise that there are differences, putting each other's ideals and beliefs into words, and trying to understand those differences. Since it should start with self-disclosure, naturally, the dialogue begins with my own ideals and beliefs. After that, it's a matter of "Sottaku Doki"... I just have to patiently wait for the timing when the other person wants to open up.
"Sottaku Doki" is a Zen term that means "the best opportunity" or "perfect timing." The etymology comes from the sound of a chick inside an egg pecking at the shell from the inside to get out (sotsu), and the mother bird pecking at the shell from the outside to help it (taku), matching perfectly.
The author of this book, Kanji Izutani, graduated from the Tohoku University School of Medicine, worked as a psychiatrist in clinical practice, and later studied abroad in France.
Psychiatry, philosophy, literature, religious thought...
These areas of interest are naturally woven into this book.
That is why the reading experience is somewhat unique.
If you expect a communication book, it looks like a philosophy book.
If you expect a philosophy book, it looks like a life theory book.
If you expect a life theory book, it looks like an organizational theory book.
And by the time you finish reading it, you will have started thinking about dialogue with yourself.
Perhaps that boundary-crossing nature is the charm of this book.
Reference Links
・Author's Official Website (Izutani Clinic)
・Amazon "The Art of Opening the Heart through Dialogue" Book Introduction Page