Don't get married if you have no intention of being happy

This might sound rich coming from a single person.

Now that I'm 27 and hearing about marriage from those around me, I've started to think that whether a marriage works out or not comes down to "whether both parties actually want to be happy".

When I hear stories about people who regret getting married, I've noticed that in many cases, one of them (well, usually both) is a person who has no intention of being happy, so I decided to organize my thoughts.

There is a certain number of people who have no intention of being happy

You might say, "Surely there's no one who doesn't want to be happy."

But there is a certain number of people who have no intention of being happy.

They are people who lack ambition, only think about exploiting others or what society thinks, and lack the resolve and effort to "be happy". (There are plenty of them on Twitter)

Ambition doesn't necessarily mean something big like "I'm going to start a business!" or "I'm going to earn 10 million yen!"
It simply refers to the effort to make life better, or to make human relationships (not just between spouses) more comfortable.

People who have no intention of being happy lack the habit of making such efforts.

Married life with someone who has no intention of being happy

If even one spouse is like this, it seems problems arise such as "they won't clean up no matter how many times I ask," "they won't think for themselves and do chores," or "they ignore me when they're in a bad mood."

People who lack ambition tend to have a strong mindset of "blaming everything on the other person," "trying to change the other person instead of themselves," "being the victim," or "thinking they are excused because they are trying hard," which of course causes stress to their partner in married life as well.

They have neither the resolve to change themselves nor the sense of responsibility to align their thoughts with their partner.

If you marry someone like that, wouldn't you even feel that it would have been better to stay single for the rest of your life?

People who marry "precisely because" they have no intention of being happy

It seems there are people who push forward with the choice of marriage "precisely because" they have no intention of being happy., or so it seems.

People who are prepared to be happy and have a desire for self-improvement think carefully about what a happy life means to them.

As a result, if their happiness lies in "marrying this person," they will marry, and if it lies in "living without being bound by the form of marriage," they can choose not to marry.

On the other hand, people who have no intention of being happy never think about "what their happiness is," and of course, because they don't know what happiness is, they cannot make an effort to achieve it.

As a result, might they not blindly choose "marriage," which is the representative of "the appearance of happiness" in society?

If you have no intention of being happy, don't drag others into it.

Not limited to marriage, I wish people who have no intention of being happy would not drag others into their lives.

Work is the same.

Just being chased by the tasks in front of you without any sense of purpose.
Just agreeing without having your own opinion.
Just "belonging" without thinking about the significance of working or business.

I don't want to work with such people who have no intention of creating happiness.

Friends are the same.

Just saying things on a whim without considering the other person's characteristics.
Just denying things by knee-jerk reaction.
Just asking for advice but not even trying to listen to the opinion.

Honestly, it's a waste of time to be with such people who don't try to be happy themselves.

I want people who have no intention of being happy to be as miserable as they wish on their own without dragging others into it.

A single person thinks

I am a person who is neither here nor there, unable to say whether I have a desire for marriage or not, but when I organize my thoughts, it ultimately comes down to this.

I would love to marry someone who has the intention of being happy.
I would rather stay single for the rest of my life than marry someone who has no intention of being happy.

I am happy as I am now, so I don't need to get married.
However, if I could find someone who is 'prepared to be happy' and with whom I could share and amplify that happiness, I would like to get married.
Because,if I can become even happier, I certainly want to.

Conversely, if I were to marry someone who has no intention of building happiness—like someone who says 'my parents are pressuring me to marry' or 'I won't have to do chores if I get married'—it seems like my current happiness would be diminished rather than amplified, so I prefer to stay as I am (i.e., single).

Because I want to be happy.