Communicating ≠ Being Understood

Five years are about to pass since I started my journey of seeking a platonic marriage.

During that time, I met many people.
I felt relieved to see that there are so many different values.
Gradually, I realized that there is no end to it.

I also made many friends.
We went out to have fun and traveled together.
However, some of those friends got married.
Gradually, I realized that we cannot be together forever.


I also had partners I dated.
I had hope that I, too, could get married.
But our values didn't align, and the relationships ended.
I learned the importance of meeting each other halfway.

After going through so much, I still want to get married.
I realize that I want a home to return to.

In the midst of all this, I found someone I wanted to share my feelings with.
So, I tried telling them.
Not everything I felt was conveyed,
but there were parts where we could empathize with each other.

Perhaps that is how relationships between people are meant to be.
When the environment allows for mutual compromise,
maybe that is when people stay together.
If that's the case, it's fascinating, and it must be a miracle.

I am searching for that kind of atmosphere.
But you can't feel the air unless you try to feel it.
It's no good if I lose my composure.
I need to take a deep breath.
Breathing in the air slowly, dreaming of the moment I can truly feel it.