Couple | What was the deciding factor for marriage?

The other day, a younger friend of mine
asked me, "Yuko, what was the deciding factor for your marriage?"
She asked.

She is currently looking for a partner, but she came over to my house for tea because she felt troubled and overwhelmed by questions about conditions and future plans.

She kindly listened to my story, which I don't think is very helpful at all, and said,
"I always come to this house to install a vision of the future 😊."
She said it so cutely. I'm happy for you 😊

Now, regarding the question from earlier.
"Yuko, what was the deciding factor for your marriage?"
To start with the conclusion,
I think it's "someone who cherishes the world that I cherish along with me."
(This applies to both of us. And I feel like my friends gather around me in that same way.)

I originally loved my work and wanted to build a career, so marriage was not in my life plan
(though I am living the exact opposite life now, lol)
but as I wrote in this article ↓

I still remember how I envied families where I could see my busy mother's back while we made sweets together at home or went out.

I sometimes think that maybe I unconsciously chose to have the version of life experience I longed for back then, now that it has taken this form.
(In terms of priorities, that is.)

My husband and I were acquaintances for over 10 years and were friends for a while before we started dating, but while we were dating, one of our staple dates was "going to visit my grandparents."

I love my grandparents and used to visit them once a month, so I thought the deciding factor might have been that he cherished and shared something that was so important to me.

Even now, there are many things we don't see eye to eye on, and we fight, but the "core" of it all is the feeling of gratitude from that time.

And since our daughter joined the family, whenever I get flustered about her—for example, if her studies might be falling a little behind, or if she's starting to miss school—he is consistently unwavering, saying, "Our daughter is growing up to be a good child."
(Of course, with his doting parent filter on full blast.)

I used to be frustrated that he wouldn't worry with me, but I am very grateful for my husband's consistent stance of protecting our daughter with trust rather than worry.

Of course, we still have those little daily arguments we call "adjustments," but he cherishes the worldview I hold dear along with me, and he has that stance of protecting our daughter with trust.

Because I respect these two main pillars, I've stopped being so particular about the rest, thinking it would be nice if I could just handle the small things to build a foundation, and then create a loop where my husband and daughter naturally start doing things themselves.

It's just my own experience, but she seemed to conclude that "in the end, a partner who makes me smile more when we're together is best."
I love her natural, innocent smile when she is being honest with what she likes, so I told her that people who would be happy to see that smile will naturally gather around her, and she went home with a big, happy smile.
(Regardless of gender. Because she is overflowing with human charm 😊)

Ah, that was such a good time. And since I hadn't talked about the deciding factor for marriage in years, it was an afternoon where I looked back on myself and felt overflowing gratitude for my husband, daughter, grandparents, and everyone around us 😊

What is the "core of your life" that you want to cherish?

If you'd like, I'd be happy if you could let me know in the comments ☺️