It does not exist.

“Excuse me. Sorry to bother you while you're busy. I was wondering if you could help me with directions. I heard there’s a hot spring around here.”
“Ah. It does not exist.”
“Pardon?”
“I said, it does not exist. It does not.”
“...?”
“...Something wrong?”
“That’s strange. I came all this way. Maybe I got the wrong place.”
“The hot spring, you mean? It exists.”
“Oh, good.”
“It does not exist.”
“That’s strange,”
“Did you forget your wallet?”
“No,”
“I see. It’s the towel.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“You can buy one inside, so it’s fine.”
“No, that’s not it. What should I do? Maybe the information was outdated.”
“If you’re talking about old, it certainly is old.”
“I see.”
“It’s been here for a long time, you see.”
“I see,”
“It’s famous.”
“Huh?”
“Something wrong?”
“No, I mean, it exists, right? It does. Thank goodness. That’s why I came. You startled me.”
“If you go straight ahead, Arimasen exists.”
“Which one is it?”
“Arimasen exists.”
“...Um.”
“It is called Arimasen.”
“...?”
“...?”

◯Both tilt their heads, neither knowing who started it

“What should we do?”
“That’s my line.”
“What is this? This situation.”
“Is it really that confusing?”
“It doesn’t exist, right?”
“It exists. More importantly, you. Why don’t you look it up on your phone?”
“I’m asking because I can’t find it even if I look it up on my phone. People often call me ‘the one without a phone’.”
“Well, let’s just say you have a talent for getting lost when you should be getting lost.”
“So, does the hot spring exist or not? Does it?”
“That is why I said, it exists. It does not,”
“Huh?”
“It does not exist.”
“If you’re going to say that, it’s either ‘it exists’ or ‘it does not exist’, right?”
“Pardon? Well, yes. It exists. It does not.”
“I’m getting confused.”
“That is why, it does not exist. It does not exist.”
“Back to square one. Which is it?”
“Calm down a little.”
“Sorry about that. I got a bit flustered.”
“In times like these, you should soak in a hot spring and relax.”
“That is exactly why I am asking for the location.”
“I don’t know about this.”
“...Have I wandered into a strange world?”
“In the sense that I’ve been accosted by a strange person, I agree with you.”
“Who are you calling a strange person? So, the hot spring exists, right!?”
“That is why I said, it exists. It does not, you see. You’re a troublesome person. I think you’re the only one who doesn’t understand by now.”
“...What should I do?”
“That’s my line.”

“That is why, it does not exist. It does not exist.”
“There is no hot spring around here, is there?”
“That is why, it exists. It does not exist.”
“Which is it?”
“What do you mean by ‘which’? It does not exist.”
“So it doesn’t exist. (Despair)”
“I said it exists,”
“Are you messing with me?”
“This is hopeless.”
“Which is it?”
“It does not exist.”
“Are you joking?”
“No. What should I do,”
“What is this? Seriously.”
“No, it’s in the north.”
“Huh???”

◯Saying things like that just makes it even more confusing

“That is why... I told you it does not exist.”
“I understand now. There is no hot spring around here, right.”
“That is why, it exists.”
“Forget it.”
“It does not exist.”
“I’d like you to stop making a fool of me.”
“I didn’t mean to...”
“Do you think that just by adding ‘desu’ or ‘masu’ to the end of a sentence, it becomes polite?”
“That is why, it is the Arima Line.”

A Trivial Play

【The one who is kind but has misleading intonation, and the one who doesn’t have the concept of looking things up but whose courage to ask others is worth emulating.】

Bonus.

The End(^o^)