The idea that being "kind" is not necessarily kindness

True Tenderness

I have long felt uneasy about the word "yasashii" (kind/gentle) because it uses the kanji the character for 'yuu', which carries the meanings of "superior" or "to excel".the kanji 'yuu' is used.

Doesn't it feel like the meaning of "yasashii" and the kanji used for it are a bit mismatched?

Perhaps the word "yasashii" was not originally used between two people, but rather by a third party to praise someone for performing an act that was "superior" or "excellent."

For example, for a teacher to praise a student's behavior

For an adult to praise a child's actions————

Certainly, performing a "kind" act toward others is an "excellent" thing to do.

But while there may be praise for the person who performed the act, there might be no perspective for the person who received it————.

Of course, I believe "kind" acts are important, but

If there exists a fixed value system from a third party that says "this is how kindness should be!", I feel that misunderstandings can arise regarding what is meant to be "kind."

Doing something while thinking of the other person might actually be something they dislike, or words meant to show consideration might end up hurting them instead...

As a result, you might end up forcing your own values of what is "kind" onto the other person...

Even though there is no malice there, it feels like something unfortunate.

'Kindness' is a difficult thing.

Just as one's own 'kindness' is not always perceived as 'kindness' by the other person,

sometimes, one's own 'strictness' can be perceived as 'kindness' by the other person.

Also, even at the end of a romance, not making the other person feel kindness might perhaps be the 'kind' thing to do.

Thinking about the other person's true feelings.

I think that is the starting point of being 'kind'.

*****

(Postscript)

In the drama 'Hanzawa Naoki' that aired the other day, there was a line that said, 'Lending is kindness, and not lending is also kindness,' and I felt that it had something in common with the theme of this article, 'kindness'.

If we are to raise awareness in children as adults...

Instead of 'Be kind to others.'...

It might be more appropriate to say something like, 'Think about the other person before you act.'

*