I want a career, a family, and children

Recently, I have been watching a lot of YouTube videos discussing the launch of the "Children and Families Agency" and the details of the "unprecedented measures against the declining birthrate."

The government's child-rearing support measures seem to be mostly aimed at couples who have already entered the "child-rearing phase," such as:
・Abolishing income limits for child allowances
・Increasing the childbirth lump-sum grant
・Mandating that listed companies disclose the rate of male employees taking childcare leave

(I am only listing the ones I remember.)

However, the "public voices" raised in these discussions were:

・Since the number of women of childbearing age is decreasing, even if the birth rate rises, the actual number of births will not increase
・Due to the diversification of values, more people do not desire marriage or childbirth
・More people are unable to get married (due to financial reasons or not having a partner)

That is what they said.

Having grown up in the countryside, I never met any "unmarried adult women" around me, so I grew up thinking that "getting married and having children when you become an adult" was just a "natural thing."

But there was a time when those feelings were greatly shaken.

That was when I was 29.

I had a gynecological condition and was told that natural pregnancy would be difficult, so I was undergoing fertility treatment.

However, before even considering the treatment costs that were not covered by insurance at all, the examination fees were also all very expensive.

The waiting times were long, and there were days when I didn't finish my consultation until after midnight.

There were times when I had to go to the hospital more than four times a week, and it was very difficult to balance that with a normal 9-to-5 office job.

Even back then, people were talking about the "declining birthrate" as if it were a matter of course, but I learned for the first time that even if you want children, "getting pregnant" is so difficult.

I was exhausted from coordinating with work and the eyes of those around me, and although I thought, "I'd rather just focus on fertility treatment," I was terrified of the bottomless treatment costs.

At the time, it took me an hour to commute, so I worried, "If I were to go through the process of pregnancy and childbirth at this company now, is it a company where I can work while raising a child? Is it a company I even want to work for enough to leave my child in someone else's care?" The answer was "NO."

So, I should quit → but I have no money.

When I was repeating that loop, I received a scout email from a job change site I had registered with. The phrase "Are you clinging to your current job?" made me feel as if someone had peered into my heart, and I went to meet the sender of that email.

The location was on the 20th floor of a skyscraper in Tokyo.

They warmly welcomed me, even though I had arrived an hour late due to overtime, and asked, "Are you doing a lot of job hunting?"

At that time, I was working at an incredibly closed-off and stifling company, and I rarely had the opportunity for anyone to ask me about myself.

And then, my feelings, which had been tightly wound and at a dead end, suddenly overflowed.

To a man I had just met, with whom I had no personal connection whatsoever,

I am undergoing fertility treatment. Even if I got pregnant right now, I wouldn't want to work while raising a child at my current company. Still, I have to work because the treatment costs are high. But I don't want to keep working at my current company forever, so I've registered with a job change site. Because I'm undergoing fertility treatment, I can't be clear about which days or hours I can work, so I can't even find a part-time job, let alone a new career.

I poured out my pain, crying because I couldn't see a way forward.

Looking back, it's truly embarrassing, but I was in so much pain that if I had gone to a hospital, I would likely have been diagnosed with depression.

When I finished speaking, the man said,

You can work at any age, so it's better to focus on your fertility treatment for now. My wife was a high-powered career woman, but our child was born with a slight disability and she had to quit her job. However, she always says that she is so glad she became a mother and that having children is true happiness. You can work at any age, even after you finish raising your children, but there is a time limit on when you can give birth. So, you don't need to be obsessed with being a regular employee or a specific job.

He gave me those words.

Thinking about it now, I really want to tell him, 'Thank you for your hard work,' but back then,

I want to get married by 30. I want to give birth by 30. I can't change jobs after 30.

I was abnormally afraid of the '30' milestone. And since I was no longer a 'new graduate,' I was told that for 'job hunting,' I needed 'previous experience' and 'immediate skills.' I was wandering in a state of immense despair, feeling that I couldn't start anything from scratch anymore.

So, I was truly shocked by his words that 'you can work at any age.'

In the end, despite that man telling me I should focus on my treatment, I did change jobs to that company.

That was because I thought, 'At this company, I can balance fertility treatment with work. Even after giving birth, I can continue to work while raising my children and attending all their school events, like class observations.'

A few years after changing jobs, I gave birth to my eldest and second sons two years apart, and today, my eldest son is finally entering elementary school.

Up until now, I have attended every nursery school meeting and class observation.

When they had a fever, I was able to nurse them myself without having to rely on sick-child daycare or hiring a babysitter.

Now, various measures against the declining birthrate are being proposed, but I believe,

I want a career, a family, and children. By being honest with my own feelings and searching on my own two feet for a place where that could come true, I managed to grasp the 'environment' I wanted.

Just like the picture book I introduced the other day called "Run Away, Search."

It is the result of having "searched."

I don't even know why I felt like writing this on the morning of my eldest son's entrance ceremony.

For those who wish for children, even a little.

For those who are in the midst of fertility treatment.

For those who are hesitant about marriage or childbirth.

I would be happy if this catches the eyes of such people.

And I pray that Japan becomes a country where those who want to "give birth" can do so and raise children with peace of mind.

The children who will create the future 20 or 30 years from now.

Congratulations on your entrance!