Panic attacks during my student days.

Sports festivals and choir competitions were slightly special events for me.

Spending time with friends is fun.

I didn't dislike preparing together or working hard toward the actual event either.

However, I was not good with places where many people gathered.

Spaces where I couldn't escape halfway through.

A gymnasium that had fallen silent.

The gazes of a large crowd.

As the events drew near, my anticipatory anxiety about 'what if I get sick again' would intensify.

And often, that anxiety would lead to an actual panic attack.

Back then, I had something like a lucky charm.

It was a small piece of gum.

I would hide it in the pocket of my school skirt and put it in my mouth when I started to feel distressed.

Strangely enough, my feelings would gradually calm down once I had the gum in my mouth.

Of course, that didn't mean the attack itself would disappear.

But I was able to think, 'Maybe I'll be okay.'

Thanks to that, I was able to participate in sports festivals and choir competitions, and I was able to spend fun times with my friends.

Thinking back on it now, that little piece of gum might have been a charm for me to carry peace of mind around.