Why do I worry so much about others?

Do you ever find yourself

getting exhausted
from being too considerate?

You adjust your behavior to fit the situation,
try as hard as you can not to disturb the atmosphere,
and act to make things even slightly better.

That way,
unnecessary conflicts are less likely to occur,
and people sometimes even call you 'thoughtful'.

That is precisely why

it feels like a good thing,
and you continue doing it without much hesitation.

But,
before you know it,

that behavior has become second nature,

and you might find that
even if you try to stop, you can't.

In fact,
you might even feel like
if you stopped, something would fall apart.

So, once again,

you are considerate in the same way,
and you smooth over the situation in the same way.

While doing that,

in a fleeting moment,
you might feel a little empty,
wondering, 'What am I doing this for?'

If you stop here for just a moment,
there is one thing that comes to mind.
That is,

do the people around you

really require that much consideration?
Of course,
greetings and small gestures of care

soften the atmosphere,

and can make relationships run more smoothly.
There is nothing wrong with that in itself.
But,

is it really necessary

to keep anticipating and addressing the atmosphere of the moment,

or even expectations that haven't even arisen yet?
When you see someone's expression or mood
and feel a bit of awkwardness,

there must be

various reasons for it.
They might just be busy,

or they might not be feeling well.
They might just happen to be in a bad mood.

Perhaps,
something is happening
that has nothing to do with you.

Even so,

thinking 'I feel like this isn't good,' you try to fix the situation.
That movement itself,

I think, is also a form of kindness.
However,

as that continues,

your consideration
might change from being 'for the sake of the situation'

to being 'because I won't feel at ease unless I do it.'
When that happens,
your consideration

becomes less about someone else
and more like a movement to process the discomfort within yourself.

That is why

you can't stop even if you try,
and the more you continue, the more exhausted you become.
If that is the case,

what you need

is not to force yourself to stop,
but perhaps to take a little look at
where that consideration is starting from.

Do you want to improve the situation?
Do you want to avoid an unpleasant atmosphere?
Or,

are you afraid that something will fall apart?
It doesn't have to be clear,

and you don't have to find the right answer.
Just,

turn your attention

to 'what you were doing as a matter of course'.

Even just doing that,
even if you intend to act the same way as before,

somewhere,
a kind of margin can be created.
Without stopping your consideration,

and without continuing it,
in between those two,
a sense of being able to choose returns just a little.
Perhaps,

with just that,
the way you have been feeling exhausted
might change a little bit.

If right now,

you feel even a little bit that
'I want to stop but I can't,'

if you take a little closer look at that 'starting position,'
you might see things differently.