The Reason Why We Don't Change Even When We Know Better

Before you know it, you are repeating the same things again.
Don't you ever get that feeling?

You know somewhere deep down that you are trying too hard to be considerate and that you should probably relax a little.
Even so,

you read the room the same way,
and you act the same way.
Thinking "here we go again,"

you find yourself caught in the same flow.
Even though you want to change,
you haven't changed.

You might even feel a slight sense of discomfort
about that fact.

What is a little strange here is that
what you know

and your actual behavior
seem to be out of sync.
You understand, yet you don't change.

You don't change, yet

you repeat it all over again.
Where does this feeling
come from?

Is it because your "willpower is weak"?

Is it because you "aren't trying hard enough"?
Sometimes we think that way, but

if you change your perspective just a little,
a different view emerges.

When a person chooses something,
it might be decided a little earlier

than "whether or not they know better."
A reaction that occurs the moment you stand in that situation.
Sensing the atmosphere,

and choosing a movement naturally.
Things like that
work quietly in a place separate from what you understand in your head.

That is precisely why

you don't change even though you know better.
Even when you try to change,

you choose the same actions.
Rather than being wrong,
it might just be that you are within that kind of mechanism.

Then,
what is a "mistake" in the first place?

Is it the result of doing something wrong?
Is it something that didn't go well?

You can interpret it that way, but
if you look at it from a little further back,

there is another way to see it.

It might be that it is
a state of "not knowing what answer you should provide."

You don't know which choice is best.
You don't know what you should prioritize.

The result chosen in that state
just happened not to go well.
Perhaps we are just calling that a "mistake."

If that is the case,
it means that many people are always somewhere
in a "state of not knowing."

Moreover, that is
not just your own problem,

but everyone involved
is carrying their own "not knowing."

If relationships move within that,

it might be natural in a sense
for discrepancies to arise somewhere.
A state where human relationships are always perfectly aligned.

Always smooth,
without stagnation,

and a state where no problems occur.
If you take that as a premise,

even a small discrepancy or sense of discomfort
makes you feel like "things aren't going well."
But,

if you are interacting while originally in a state of "not knowing,"

having some discrepancies or misunderstandings
might actually be more natural.
Thinking about it that way,

events where you feel "I did the same thing again"
can be seen not as mere failures,
but as things chosen from the answers available at that time.

There is no need to blame yourself for it,
and perhaps no need to try to force it to be corrected.

Just,
try looking a little bit at "what I don't know right now."

Just by having that perspective,
even within the same event,
the way you see things can change a little.
People don't change because they know better,

but when they notice something,
their movements change little by little.

If that is the case,

the feeling of "I know better but I can't change"
is not a sign that something is wrong,

but perhaps a trigger
to turn your eyes toward something a little further back.
What that "further back" thing is,

doesn't have to be clearly put into words.
Just,

by turning your eyes toward it,
a slightly different margin is created

within the flow that looked the same as before.
Perhaps,

change might start quietly
from such a place.