Christmas 《Green》

🎄 The first half of the story.

It's only just turned November, and already they're playing Christmas songs.
"It's way too early for that."
Naoko lets out a sigh, making sure no one is watching.

The supermarket in the evening was packed with people. Everyone looked busy, and more than anything, they looked fulfilled and happy.

"Super special deal! Komatsuna 88 yen"
The price tag was somehow attached to the spinach next to it, and she had just been scolded by the floor manager because a customer had complained.

"You can tell the difference between komatsuna and spinach just by looking, can't you?"
Naoko lowers the corners of her mouth while giving a perfunctory apology.

Oh, I'm so sick of this.

The frivolous singing of these Christmas songs, the shoppers who look so overly satisfied, and myself, wearing a pilled cardigan and an apron that says 'I pride myself on being cheap.'

It feels like I'm being sold at a discount too.

Every single day, it's the same thing over and over.
Naoko stares at her own rough fingertips.

From nine to five, my days are spent going back and forth between the warehouse and the register, and somehow the day just ends.
Even on my days off, if I go anywhere, it's just to a slightly trendier supermarket in the next town. Buying a green smoothie there that our store doesn't carry is my one little joy.

That's it.

Lately, I haven't even been wearing makeup.
It's hidden by a mask anyway, and besides, no one is looking at my face.
All the customers care about is whether the items with 20% off stickers are actually ringing up at that price.

Am I just going to dry up and grow old like this? Am I going to become one of those middle-aged women who gets annoyed by Christmas songs every year?

It's too sad that the clothes I wear most often right now are this green apron.

"Good work today."

Naoko punches her time card—an anachronistic, Showa-era relic—and calls out to her colleague.
The jarring, out-of-place sound echoing around her makes her feel depressed all over again.

"Good work. Today's special sale wasn't great, was it? Manager Sasaki really misread what would sell. Hey, don't you think so? Well, see you tomorrow."
Yoshimura from the meat department replies as she takes off her apron.

See you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow?

Will I spend the same day again tomorrow? Arranging vegetables on the shelves, stocking and ordering tofu and konjac, and jumping on the register when it gets busy.

Getting nagged by customers who aren't happy about something, and just apologizing and saying I'm sorry.

From morning till night, the cheerful Christmas songs keep playing.
I'm always here.

Always here?

I...
How many more years am I going to be here?

Is a happy Christmas never going to come for me?

"Yoshimura-san... um..."

Naoko's face is deathly pale.
Her eyes are wide open as if she has made a decision, and it's clear that something is wrong.

Yoshimura instinctively takes a step back.

"W-what's wrong? Nao-chan?"
"I'm sorry, I'll contact the manager tomorrow. I... I don't need this anymore!"

The thing Naoko threw away as she hurried out of the store was her green apron.

🎄🎄 The second half of the story

Naoko started running into the dark, cold air.

I don't know where I'm heading.
It's just that everything has been continuing since that day.
Thinking that, I ran recklessly.

"If only I had said it clearly back then."

Perhaps something inside me had changed.

Pregnant at the time due to a shotgun marriage, I noticed my ex-husband's affair but kept silent.
He, too, showed no concern for me, nor did he seem to feel any remorse.

"I'm going out."
With those words, he left me behind and went to her.

I could have screamed and cried.

I even thought about throwing away all his shoes so he couldn't leave.

I could have clung to him, too.

But.

I didn't say anything, and
nothing,

I could do.

"Click."

He locked the door as if he were leaving a room where he lived alone.

I imagine the sound of the key turning, and the cold metallic click echoes in my brain.

The closed door looked more beautiful than I had expected.

I tore the house apart like a madwoman.

Even though I have a baby in my womb,
I am all alone.

I rampaged and sobbed in my small apartment room.

It's cold.

When I came to my senses from the extreme cold, I realized I didn't have my coat or my bag.

The illumination of the large Christmas tree in front of me sparkled as if to beckon me, and I stopped in my tracks.

Nao-chan!

Yoshimura-san?

I turned around and saw my colleague running toward me in an awkward way.

Haa, haa, y-you... you're fast...
She said that, smiling at me while breathing out white mist.

Oh, right, why don't you come over to my place on Christmas day?

Oh, um, I have a child...

Of course, bring them along! I have three kids too, so it'll be fine!

A bear ornament wearing a green Santa hat fell from the Christmas tree.

She picked it up and said,

Here! See you tomorrow!

Saying that, they handed it to me.

The ornament was slightly warm.

I participated in this project.

#Anapiri